Apifera Farm - where art, story, animals & woman merge. Home to artist Katherine Dunn

Apifera Farm is a registered 501 [c][3]. All images ar©Katherine Dunn.





Wednesday, November 08, 2017

Don't rush my melancholy

I've been back in studio this week after last's week power outage put me back a week. I'm always a little rusty when the summer is over since summer is not my best creative time for painting, it's more for creating outside. So I was happy I could still sit down to a blank canvas and get something on it, and let it evolve. I like where these are going. They were inspired by the storm.

We shall see how they end up.

I fell into a bit of a funk this morning after sorting through old files, that led me to find old images from the old farm. I realize I might never be able to look at any of them without falling into some moments of sadness. I am thinking that that times was just a very special time in my life, when so much was evolving in me and so much was coming into my life-dreams were appearing right and left, animals and land worked together in such magical ways to bring surprise everyday. It was not a perfect time, no time is...but I think it will always be difficult to think back to it without longing for certain parts of it-like the gravel driveway, Old Barn, my rides with Joanne...I don't know, it is just part of me now, that empty part that was once my old farm.

And now I have this farm, different in so many ways, and still magical...I think the magic appears here in quietness, it has its own personality of communicating with me here. Perhaps this place is still recognizing I am still healing from what was a loss, even though we chose to leave.

I will take the time I need, perhaps the rest of my life, to work through those memories. And I won't let anyone to tell me to get over it already. One can be happy and content and still have sadness.

I am about to go out to Rag Tree. I've been meaning to and I want to hang some new prayer rags for people, and one for me too, and our farm here. It's a beautiful crisp day and I just keep hearing a voice, 

Go out to The Wood, go out today.


So I will, right now.


2 comments:

susan hemann said...

thank you for your thoughts, the idea that I can still be happy and content with sadness has me thinking, I have been wishing for what was lately

Katherine Dunn said...

Thanks for reading, Susan. If you think about it, one day is like one life-and each life is made up of so many emotions-and each moment is 60 seconds long which is also full of many visceral emotions....I don't think we are ever happy completely 24 hours. Even babies cry at some point after spending a wonderful time sucking their mother.

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Thank you for reading! The farm and my art/writing keep me hopping, so might not respond immediately. Thank you for understanding. ~Katherine & Apifera ~