In which we must acknowledge Stanley and Janet Jane Josephine are gone

I had hoped it wasn't so, but I really feel it is, the barn cats have been taken by Nature, most likely, the red fox.

Stanley had not been seen for about three weeks, but JoJo was coming and going, even getting to the comfort level of sitting near me without fleeing. I remember I saw her most mornings right before the barn project started. Because the hay was gone, we were waiting for the harvest, I knew the barn project might make her leave the barn during the noisiest parts of the day. But the food was going on uneaten, and I have not seen her since, which is about three weeks. I thought when the hay arrived she might return, but I have not seen her.

At the same time, we had been noticing a red fox outside the lower pasture. We saw him three times around dusk. He was leaping at rodents or rabbits near the marshy area, and this was a place the cats would go when they first ventured out.

I really think he got them. Yes, it is possible they went of to another place...it is possible. But Jojo was talking more those last days. Perhaps she was ill, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

I feel quite badly about this. And I do not think I will bring adult ferels on anymore-UNLESS- they show up on their own, then they will be welcome to stay and I will care for them and attend to them spaying and neutering. I have nothing against the feral society that trapped these cats, spayed/neutered/vetted them-they are doing a worthy job for so many cats out there, especially with high incidence of rabies in Maine. But I have no idea where these cats came from-perhaps they were city cats, and I wonder if they had any instinct to be in Nature. Yes, there is an instinct in an animal to survive, but...after rearing 25 ferels out West, with most of them living very long lives, I just wonder if I did a disservice to these two.

I know my intentions were right. I also believe animals pick up on our true intentions pretty quickly-if not immediately. I had many talks with them. I did my best...but from now on, unless it is a mama feral with kittens, or wandering ferels who see the light in the barn and decide to stop in to test the waters, I don't think I'd bring two adults here unless I really knew their background. I suppose if someone had a true barn cat that had lived in a real barn, with indoor outdoor life, it might be one thing.

So we raise a glass to them. If they died, I hope it was a quick kill. I hope they didn't suffer.

If they come back..you will be the first to know. The universe around me knows my intentions with animals, the invisible gate is open to them.

Stanley leaves, Stanley returns

Last week I noticed that Stanley J. Catfish was not at morning feedings which is the norm. Since they came, the two cats have been a bonded unit, where one is, the other follows.

But I didn't think too much about it, and went on with my feedings. Still, it was not right. After all the ferels and barn cats we had taken on out West, I knew they often disappear, sometimes for many days, a few weeks even, and return unscathed. And sometimes they don't return.

I just knew it was odd that the two were a unit, unlike the cats out west, who were part of a huge clan and separate barns, so they had more interdependence from each other.

I waited a few days, and lost hope, and posted about it on Instagram. I think it was two days later, and there he was at breakfast. I was so happy to see him. He must have thought I was nuts because I sang to him, discussed his where abouts, gave him a lecture [oh yea, cat lectures really work, right?] and sat with him too, looking to see if there were any wounds on him.

The night of his return, he was extra hungry at dinner I thought, and I sat with him while he ate, pushing the bowl with my finger, and then touching his head. I'm trying to tender them both up in time for autumn rabies shots-it would make it much easier for everyone including them.

This morning at feedings, after being back one day, he was not there.

So Stanley J. Catfish must have a double life, a really good reason not to be around for a free and easy meal of stinky cat food, which he devours when he is present. I wondered if he might be onto a female somewhere, since he was only neutered about three months ago and it supposedly takes about 6 months for their wanderlust hormones to dissipate after neutering. Or maybe he is just napping, maybe he is ill and wants to be alone...maybe he has a pickup out in The Wood and he drives away to a cabin once a week. He might even have a passport.

Such is the mystery of the barn cat.

I was thinking though how quickly I had lost my hope when he left. I have been through this so many times, but instead of taking the 'think positive' route, I just accepted pretty quickly an eagle or fox got him, thinking he wasn't that worldly as other ferels I've known. I wondered if I'm losing my touch, my innate gut feeling-something we all have for sure-but I practice at listening to my intuition, and I wondered if I wasn't listening, or what had made me so doubtful this time.

I don't know. Maybe it's that death is everywhere there is life, and sometimes, especially on a small farm, it is best to acknowledge, and move on or one can go crazy worrying, wondering, imagining what happened. Was it a quick kill, was he stuck somewhere, had he been hit...on and on.

I'm not sure what the lesson is in what I just wrote. But I do know, as always,

Nature knows more than I do.

So does the darn cat.

And we have barn cats

I have been waiting to write about this because the situation kept changing, but I can now say with unabashed truth that we now have two barn cats. I contacted a feral cat society nearby that traps/spays/neuters and vaccinates feral cats they trap, then they rehome them to barns. I have really missed having barn cats! As you know if you have followed Apifera for a long time, we took care of twenty five at one time at our old farm out West. When we arrived at our old farm there were two litters within a short time, and other young adults, and we trapped for over two years. All those cats, or most, lived well past twelve, and Big Tony, the sire of most of them, came to Maine with us. When we left, there were only two cats remaining in the barn. I knew I could not take them, they were at home there and would not have done well in a move. And they were twelve...but I think of them and wonder if they most likely have died.

The arrival of the new barn cats had a bit of drama. They arrived in small carry crates, but the feral society were good enough to leave the large crate with us, so we could acclimate them. We also immediately created a five by five area, completely contained, within the barn. We left them in the main crate for two days, and then we put them in the enclosure, with the intention of leaving them in there for at least a couple of weeks. I checked Martyn's work on the enclosure and there were a couple spots I feared they could escape, and we fixed those. There was also a spot in the back where Martyn had pressed chicken wire into a small area, and I did not thoroughly check it-I assumed it had been nailed in, but it was pressed in. One day later, I arrived at the barn and they were gone, they had escaped out of that area.

We were miserable, to say the least. I felt very responsible as did Martyn. The weather was cold and snowy and I really feared we had lost them into The Wood, for good. For three or four days I put out canned food for them, in the area they had first resided in, in the crate, away from the goats. I sprinkled flour all around the crate to show any foot prints.

Three days went by without a trace of them.

I had enough experience with ferals to know they can disappear for a long time, and show up out of the blue. I had no idea the background of these two, and we didn't know how savvy they were or what their survival skills had been, if any.

And then one day, foot prints! I was so excited. I knew if they were still there at this point, they would probably stay. They began eating the canned food and licking the bowls clean. I still had not seen them though.

Finally, after two weeks, I was cleaning the equine area, and looked up and there he was, the male. I nearly exploded with internal relief and happiness.

It would be another couple weeks before the shy female would appear, and they really look alike when they aren't side by side. But the male is much larger.

After another few days, the male was coming down a bit closer when I did morning chores...and then the female too. I have started climbing up a couple of bales, and sitting, not looking at them, just sitting. I really want to get their vet collars off, fearing they could get stuck on something-but since they are staying in the barn for now, I think in time I'll be able to get close and get them off. I do not want to trap them at this stage to do that, as it might spook them.

They have not spoken. However, I finally heard their names.

Introducing: Stanley J. Catfish, and Janet Jane Josephine.