Goodbye to a most magnificent cat

It has been an exhausting 48 hours, and week. The Magnificent Maurice Mittens became out of sorts earlier in the week and I spent a couple days working intensively to keep liquids in him and help him. Because the vet I like is still waiting to open her brick and mortar clinic, I finally opted to take him into the emergency vet clinic which is only open nights and weekends. We went in Friday night in pouring rain and discussed all the possible issues that were making him listless, and off food and water. An obvious suspect is thyroid and kidney issues in an older cat, but there were other things that made me feel there were multiple issues going on. I had felt really upset last night when we got home, and missed the relationships I had built with my Oregon vets over years who I felt always understood my work, and knew the animal's interest was in my heart, but there are also limits to what measures can be taken, or should be taken, on case by case basis. Keeping an animal alive come hell or high water is not-in my opinion-something that is always the go-to goal. Their comfort is, of course, but also-sometimes elders let go, and deciphering that can be hard for the human in us sometimes. I didn't have to explain that with my old vets, and I never felt judged if I had to draw a line on what extent I felt we should go for a dying or sick animal-but it was a discussion with my vets and we made the answer together.

Blood work was done and we kept him in there overnight for 24 hour observation. The blood work really didn't show a definitive answer, so I picked him up at 6 am, since no animal can stay there after 7;00 am-it is strictly for emergency work-and I drove him down to a clinic I've heard good things about and had wanted to try out. If there was a silver lining in all this, it is that I now have a clinic I truly love and the doctor and techs were really wonderful.

I felt no pressure to make a 'right' or 'wrong' decision about Mitten's fate. The doctor took over an hour with me discussing options based on what we knew at that moment, and understanding this was an elder cat, and that I was the one who knew him best.

It was a had choice, but we decided we would do another round of blood work to rule out one more thing, and I would take him home and give him fluids, and we would go from there. But as the hour and then another hour wore on, he was showing more and more signs that there were multiple things going on-including neurological issues, like walking into walls and losing his motor functions. He deteriorated throughout the visit with the vet, and that prompted me to change my mind-I felt it was in his best interest to be put to sleep, we all did at that point.

He went in an instant.

I can't say enough good things about the vet, and like I said, I lost Mittens, but I gained a clinic I felt at home in, and respected in. I did not feel pressure to pull out every dollar and every trick in the book to save an animal that really just was clearly checking out. I admit, I cried this time. I was so exhausted from the last 48 hours-but it was also the unsettling feeling I didn't have a clinic [yet] that morning that would be able to help me. I got a group hug from the vet and the tech, and it was really a good experience.

The thing is, Mittens was a favorite of mine. I love them all, I really do, but Mittens seemed to be the one I had to gravitate to in the last months. While everyone is held on a daily basis, and cared for, Mittens loved attention. I look back on it and think, well, maybe that is the way it was meant to be-he got extra attention in the past few months because he or the universe knew he would be leaving soon.

Mittens was adopted twice at the shelter as a 12 year old, and returned twice. I don't know why. But I do know he was meant to come here. He had a place called home away from barking shelter dogs, and although he was well cared for there by staff, it wasn't the same as having a home.

When he arrived, I altered his name. He was more than just 'Mittens' to me.

He was magnificent.

He was The Magnificent Maurice Mittens.

UPDATE: Due to the love and generosity of followers, the entire vet bill has been collected. It takes a village! Any small donations go into directly feeding and maintaining the Misfits. All donations are tax deductible.

The Magnificent Maurice Mittens...did he find the hooch?

We do not have any substances on our property...as in weed...nor we do we partake in it, we rely on a little hooch as our adult vice. However, we do know of a nearby property growing some weed. Is it possible The Magnificent Maurice Mittens has figured out a way to leave The Elder Cat Suite to chew on some plants? You might think so looking at him from time to time. Or maybe he has found our hooch stash.

{Please note no cats were given marijuana or hooch or allowed near marijuana plants to write this post. That is actually Mr. Mittens normal look when I say, "Mr. Mittens! Wake up, time for breakfast!"}

And don't forget, you have until midnight tonight to add $10 into the barn fund in order to get your name in The Puppet's hat-he will pick two names out of his hat and they will get an original painting. Every $10 you donate gets your name on a piece of paper in the hat.

Always in need: canned cat food

Part of keeping this place zipping along is the reality that I will always be asking for help. I try to balance that with sharing stories, art, photos and engaging you all in the beauty of the interactions here at Apifera. Running a 501[c][3] is very different than just asking for hep from time to time. I really appreciate the support from people!

Right now there are many needs, and we also have the barn fundraiser which is ongoing. This is a growing time for us here with our non profit and the barn will open up many new experiences for us...and room for more animals.

But one need that is ongoing, is canned cat food. The elders we adopt out of the shelters are all eating canned food to keep their weights up. Someone was gracious enough to donate a new baby scale so I am tracking weights.

All you have to do is visit our list on Amazon and purchase. I have a variety of priced foods listed-all are fine. They love the chicken and gravy Weruva but it is a bit pricey-so choose what works for you. We are currently using 5 cans a day. It is really helpful to have a month supply on hand so I'm not constantly barking for more, but the cats and I will try to make our pleas for food entertaining in the coming months and years.

At the end of the year, the cats will be sending out a special message they're working on, and one person will also get a print of The Magnificent Maurice Mittens.

Thank you to everyone who helps!

Mr. Mittens! You need a job!

This morning I was up early and it was crisp as an apple skin in late autumn. I actually felt cold, but loved it. We had our first minor frost so we know what is coming. It's gorgeous out though. I made the trip down to the village town hall to pay our property taxes. Ouch. More than double what we paid in Oregon...but we have more amenities here. We are doing okay, but a freelancer always is walking up a hill and once the vista is seen and appreciated they can't stop, they have to keep going, sometimes round a bend, sometimes down a small hill, or into a valley, and they just have to focus on looking upward and keeping the headlights ready for fog..because you always come out of fog.

I thought of what my mother had said about something once, that when faced with an unpleasant task, think of a bookend to it...and am sure she would have said this today,

"But if you couldn't pay it, you wouldn't have your land and farm so you can pay it and that's why you have it."

Yep, she's so North Dakotan! As am I in many ways.

And, a lesson I know, but relearn over and over-it is often the thought of having to do something that is worse than getting it done. Taxes are like that.

I came back home and before I ventured down to Brunswick to the skin doctor [I will soon look like a partial Frankenstein again...sigh....I promise not to Instagram it, I'm way to old school for that], I stopped in to visit the elder cats.

"You could help by getting some part time jobs," I told them.

The Magnificent Maurice Mittens looked up with an expression that clearly expressed his opinion of that.

When cats dream

The Magnificent Maurice Mittens is one of our residents of The Elder Cat Suite. While he lives inside, he has memories of his younger days when he was able to walk alone and gather leaves and sit under trees and catch the dappled sun. He still has that scarf though, his Aunt Alice made it for him and told him,

"Maurice Mittens, when you wear this scarf, think of me, and all the creatures you have loved, and they will join you on your nightly dream time walks."

{Now available as a print at the shop}

Things the old cat teaches me

The Magnificent Maurice Mittens - my role model

Somebody asked me why I gravitate to helping seniors. I have always gravitated to senior people since I was little. I don't know why. I think somethings are unknowns, and why we do it is less important than recognizing how meaningful it feels when we do it. Working with seniors-creatures and people-feels meaningful, so I continue. I'm not trying to heal old wounds of childhood or family relationships. I just really dig elders. And I really gravitate to them emotionally.

I think of all the senior or special needs animals that have come and gone at Apifera, and how significant their presence was-to me and visitors. If we could all just get second chances, to be recognized for our souls, not necessarily our aged bodies, vessels that don't appeal to the popular marketplace.

As I near sixty next spring, my earth vessel is no longer pretty. I can say that now. I fought it a bit these past couple years. I really could not tell what I looked like anymore. I'd see a photo of me wen I was...say, 55...that's not so far from being 59. But how different I perceived myself to look. I think, for me anyway, there have been stages or passages in my almost sixty years, that took me time to settle into the new me and say goodbye of the old me. Not just the evolving interior of me, but the changing exterior of me-the aging me. I like to think I got about twenty years of looking in the mirror and feeling good at the physical reflection, that's not so bad. But starting about 57, I was really struggling with...my appearance. I felt like I lost what I once saw, and didn't know what I saw in the present form.I think that was part of the reason I chopped my hair off spontaneously-those flying braid clumps were in a lot of paintings of my younger days. I needed some lighter clumps to go with my aging vessel.

I've never really thought of aging as something to fear. The number '60' doesn't really upset me, because I have created a life of meaning. But for some reason, this transition, as far as my outward appearances go, is the one I've struggled with the most. And I always come back to the same internal dialogue-you are healthy, you have love, you have work, people remember your smile and laughter and how you make them feel, not the you look a certain age.

I suppose at some point I will meld into my new body-the fifteen pounds heavier body that try as I may will not shed an ounce. I just have to believe that there is this point that I will look in the mirror or see a photo, and clearly know that is me, just like I did in my prime. Maybe? Maybe not.

And so when I sit with The Magnificent Maurice Mittens, I doubt he's examining my looks, unless it's my body language. He's gotten another chance here, to have a life of meaning amongst the Apifera elders. He will be petted and cared for and make people happy. He can continue to be a cat, just an older version of himself.

"How glorious to go through life without examining one's looks and age all the time." I told him this morning. "But by the way, you look magnificent."

He reminds me that as I age I get another chance, daily, to let my soul shine no matter what my exterior vehicle is looking like. No matter how much examining I do of the reflection in the mirror, its just a vessel. I don't leave it behind, I leave my deeds and art and soul impacts behind.

Conversation of old cats

Sir Tigger, was 17 when his owner went into a home and he ended up in the shelter.

"She is on her way," Sir Tigger said as he kept his nose close to the bottom of the door.

"She's late this morning!" said Anna.

"There be others she cares for besides us's, or is it we's," said Yume, in her broken English. Yuma was born in Japan and was a stray, so her English, and grammar, are still a work in progress. And learning a new language at an elderly age becomes a longer process for most.

"I got to sleep more, this was good," said the tea cup cat, Maxine.

And then there was a loud thud on the ground.

It was The Magnificant Maurice Mittens who had recently been returned to the shelter for reasons unknown. He arrived with the name Mittens but was grateful his new caretaker adjusted is name,

"as I am more magnificent than a mitten!" he announced.

Maurice Mittens sauntered over to Sir Tigger, and stood behind him. The two got along, but there was a feeling in the air that Maurice could take over if he wanted to, bt he didn't want to. And Tigger liked to stay out of trouble by backing off of any body encounter with another felines.

The door opened, the sing song woman voice said the usual,

"Good Morning! What a great day to be a cat!"

And she plopped down a big box.

"Look what came for us?" she told them all.

They all gathered, except Yume and Anna who watched from their perches.

Inside were cans and cans...and they knew exactly what was in those cans...judging by the tail swishes and humming purrs.

"I hope it's the Seafood Combo," said Maurice.

So you see, dear readers, when you send a gracious gift of canned cat food to the senior felines, a conversation does happen, and appreciation is shown via tail swishes and grrrrr's.

{Apifera Farm is a 501[c][3] and all your donations are tax deductible.}

The Magnificent Maurice Mittens had been returned to the shelter for unknown reasons

Anna was loved, but sent to the shelter in her elder years reasons unknown. Yume  was born in Japan and lost her owners due to another oversea job change and they could not take her.

Maxine is 5# and on thyroid for life. She was sent to shelter at 12.

Anna sent to shelter for reasons unknown