His name is Rat

He still gets up and walks, with crippled bent legs, as he is very old, a survivor as many rats are. He likes to wear his boxer shorts and shirt, and has one nice suit vest he still wears. He doesn't walk far, but always tries to look up at the stars, slowly, as his neck gives him problems now. He prefers night to day.

He also is made of part love, a bit of stoic pessimism for living so long, and rat like ingenuity. One of kind.

His name is Rat.

{Available now at the shop}

More emerging

I worked all afternoon on the doll I posted a day ago. As you can see, she evolved. Like an attempt, there was struggle involved. I layered and layered her face, with scraps. As I worked I thought,

Oh, so this is how it is going to be, she is made of pieces all put together, but still is whole.

As the day went on, I reworked the eyes and mouth a million times. As I added more layering, I realized her eyes had become wings. I like that. I felt the young soul in this doll, is part of my emerging crone self. She reminded me yesterday she is still here, still whole, although bits that might have felt loose or scattered are being sewn back in, to stay.

And her eyes see and create, and expand-like any functioning wings.

It is my time to recreate myself once again.

{Visit the workshop blog to read about the September 17th doll making day here at Apifera}

Emerging Crones

There is still plenty of time to sign up for the workshop. I am keeping enrollment open until the 15th. Today I started creating some forms just to loosen up and get ready for the class. I plan to have some beginning forms for students so they aren't intimidated by the blank slate.

The class explores our intuitive natures, strengths, wisdoms -through communing and doll making. There is no sewing experience necessary.

Read more at the workshop blog.

When those we love return

In which an old goat, and my father return to me out of thread and cloth.

I sat down recently to work on a new creature. I had it in my mind to make a llama doll in honor of Aldo. I worked for a couple of hours and it became very clear that Aldo was not with me that day, but someone else was. It was so good to see Old Man Guinnias again. Just like I imagine him at times, out for a morning walk in the cool air.

I also recognized that my father was with him too. Hence, he is attired in fine fabrics including a hodgepodge scarf made of fine linens-all from my parent's collection. Those yellow linen napkins were ones we used at many dinner celebrations since I was very young. I made a quilt out of some for my home, but now am using them as I feel the urge in other items.

I felt very calm working on my doll, I always do. And the creature that presented itself to me was the creature I needed to see. Perhaps my father too was saying,

"Hey, what about me, I'm here too, don't forget me."

This is something my father might think, whereas my mother would not. My father never really understood how much I loved him, how much I wanted him to be happy in his post retirement, and how much I admired his talent as an artist, draftsman, engineer and architect. I remember sitting on the couch with him, months before he would die, and we were talking about drawing. I told him he was such a good draftsman and could draw anything [which he could].

"Really, you think that?" he asked.

What in the world had I not said enough that he would still, at age eighty three, think I didn't believe that. i know I'd said it over and over. Perhaps he wasn't listening. Or, perhaps he was just as unsure of his abilities as I am sometimes. We had a good relationship, I'm so grateful for that. We had our complications like any father-daughter, but we had much in common which can sometimes conflict with peace.

The older I get, the more I understand the man. I talk to him all the time, but in a very simple way.

I'll be struggling with some of my own insecurities that might bring out a reaction in myself that I don't like, and I think of him and something he might have done or words he might have chosen under stress that were hurtful, and I just quietly say to him,

"I understand."

A friend once said that everyone is damaged, but some people are more damaged than others.

I thought that was a really powerful way to look at others, and ourselves. I am blessed to have had a good childhood, not with perfect parents, but ones who never scared me, belittled me or bullied me. I liked them. I got to have them around in my adult years too and that can add a lot of understanding to the child-parent dynamic. You think you have it all together at thirty? Get to forty. You think you really added some wisdom and grounding in your forties? Travel on into the fifties. My parents shared many lessons, thoughts, fears and stories as they grew into their eighties. I know for a fact, if I make it to eighty, I will think of them at times as I'm putting one foot in front of the other, and say,

"I understand."

Meet Juanita...the tenth

This is Juanita the XX, she is over 50, which is 250 in human years. She descends from the Juanita and Pedro line. She still gets up each day and dresses properly for breakfast. She has survived many cat attacks as well as raccoons.

She was born to Pedro VIII and Jaunita IX. This was before we had moved to Apifera, obviously. I found attic insulation on her, which makes me think she lived under the kitchen-above the root cellar where the insulation is visible. There are many secret passages-secret to me, that is-to and from the root cellars into the kitchen cabinets.

To survive this long is rather a miracle. Who knows why one does, and another succumbs to the death trap, or a cat, or natural illness. I guess it is not unlike our human world, you go when you go.

Juanita is proud. Even though she is very arthritic and getting around is difficult, she believes in keeping herself up to date, as much as possible. It reminds me of my mother-who until her death at 87 always took pride in her clothes. I know towards the end it became harder and harder but she always looked sharp, in a down to earth way. Juanita has trouble bending with her humped back, but still manages to keep her silks pressed, and washed.

She has been widowed over twenty times. Mouse marriages are often short, due to, well, death. But she can remember each husband, the first being Pedro Carlo Luiz and the last being a fellow named Frank Simmons. Frank came from a local clan down the road and he adored Juanita, perhaps more than any of her other husbands. He was 20 years younger, but found Juanita's knowledge of the local history entertaining. Frank was an accordion player but switched to harmonic in his later years. To this day, the sound of a distant harmonica always makes Juanita's ears twitch, and she has to remind herself that Frank is gone.

Collaged sewn donkeys and elephant babies

I just posted some more Raggedy Aprons at Pino's Apron Gallery.

I've been taking the illustrated fabric I make with Spoonflower, then cut and collage fabric scrap into the faces and embellish vintage aprons with them. I see this as a leaping off point to do more abstract fabric scrap work in my leisure time [chickens, goats, Frankie are all laughing in the background on hearing this.]

I also posted some raggedy folk dolls. I was in my elephant muse stage.

As usual, apron sales will go into Pino's bucket to help old animals- like Honey Boy Edwards who arrived last Friday from New Moon. You'll hear about him soon. We also have two more small packages to pick up this month sometime and then the senior menagerie will settle in to leisure activities. More on that later in the month.

Inspired by 1.5# creature

My days are filled with listening to the muse. If you've been following along of late, you know a teeny creature entered my world, by sheer coincidence- or by the magical hands of her guides, or mine- and her mere presence inspired me to create a felted finger puppet.

While I didn't mimic her markings perfectly, I did capture one of her many Itty Bitty looks. She is still getting her voice, and is not quite ready to meet the other puppets. But she will.

Sweater weather thoughts

Every time I sit down to focus on my felted creature stories, something else takes priority. Fortunately they have all been good priorities involving writing opportunities and new work. So, here's a sneak peek at my attempts. Okay, I've been giving sneak peaks for awhile now, but like I just said to someone,

"I'm creating as fast as I can."

And on a closing note - the book was named one of Amazon Editor's Top Ten List in Photography/Art for 2010. What a thrill for me. And the puppets, well, they can hardly stand it. I'm sure Pino the puppet will be making an announcement soon.

She found a home!

Update: Kitty Who Dressed Herself has found a home in Oklahoma! I am so pleased she will get a taste of living on the plains and midwest, it will ground her immensely.She is currently packing for the trip, "her ownself".

"What shall you wear today?" asked the mother cat.

"I'm dressing my own self, Mama." came the response, confidantly.

And so begins each morning for this little cat. She reminds me a lot of me as a child. From a young age, I refused to underwear, and my mother would greet me at the breakfast table with a little good morning pat to my behind, to check to see if I was sans unders. Alway, I was sans unders. A tradition I abide by to this day.

Oh dear, I've shared too much.

Anyway, this little cat needs a home. Made of recycled Dirt Farmer socks- clean of course - and scraps of fabric from the bottomless scrap box. A teeny bit of Apifera lavender bud is stuffed in her- better than perfumed kitty litter.

She has no formal name, preferring to be called, "Kitty who dressed herself".

$39.50 includes USA shipping. Scroll to bottom of post to pay.

Messily working

I felt like making some new dolls. Stay tuned, my felted cat head might become a puppet, to go onto star in movies I make around farm...

Another somewhere

I'm rushing around trying to get the final touches on some things for the upcoming "Somewhere" show at Zeek Gallery. This is a 3D set with felted creatures. It's really just the start of the idea I have of doing a whole show of felted creatures against illustrated sets. I need to do much better with the process of the set portion, but hope to schedule a show two years out to give me proper time. I want the sets to be much more theatrical and detailed than this. But, it's a start. This is called, "She picked a star out of the night sky for him" and is 16" square.

Snow sewing

The blanket of snow keeps getting deeper, and rather than taking the week to paint, it just felt right to sew. I am kind of going crazy, sewing any loose piece of fabric I can find into something. I'm threatening to make Christmas pageant outfits for all the animals, but Martyn has suggested I focus on one outfit which we will present to Guinness on his arrival.

I made this doll and pillow for my mother. When my father died in March, I took all his neckties and socks and hankies. He loved fine fabrics and always had beautiful ties from Italy. I saved the one he wore to my wedding, and one other that he bought while in my company which had a horse on it. This little pillow is made of the ties I took home with me after the funeral, and the little doll is made of his socks, and her dress is a beautiful silk tie.

I had a nice day making these, and felt him as I sewed. The solid color knit ties were his every ties he wore to work. As I sewed, the snow fell, just like it did in a memory of a Minnesota day...my father smoking his pipe in his big chair, my mother cooking with wonderful spices, a distant TV from my brother's room, and a little black dog long gone.

He loved wrapping Christmas gifts in artistic fashion, to the point that our wrapping each year became a tradition. As I sewed, I often took time to just hold those ties, as if he was right here with me, like the memory in my head and heart.

Le Collection de Creatures

One of the things I did while my mother was visiting during the holiday was sit with her while she needle pointed, and I needle felted creatures for my ongoing collection.

I started with Grandmére Chat, knit her a sweater dress, which led to all sorts of things. It was a pleasure working on one thing for 4 days, and since my elderly mother could not handle the temperature of my studio, I had to work on things I could carry into the house.

Martyn made me a little wagon for Grandmére and then I needed something to pull her. Well, of course, it had to be a donkey, specifically a donkey with the first initial "P"...I love how these creatures emerge, and one thing leads to another.

The hours I put into these beings and their clothes and details make them difficult to price. I decided to create Le Collection de Creatures for my ongoing birthings of these detailed felt pieces. I have no intention of working hours on these and selling them for $75 on Etsy. They are priced accordingly. What I feel emerging are stories, some that will help me along with my novel, some that will end up in picture books. [And I'll still be doing my other sock creatures in the $125 and under range].

My immediate goal is to create a backdrop series for these creatures, from my illustrations - say a forest scene, or a city scene, and the creatures would be placed in a shadow box /set like a theatrical puppet stage.

There will someday be a whole family of them, a whole novel's worth, probably all tucked away in boxes for now. It's one of those ongoing projects, that years from now, perhaps long after I'm gone, will be seen as the beginning of something.

New creatures seeking love

I've posted many new raggedy creatures on my Etsy shop. These little lavender stuffed beings need good homes, with a stable environments.

Upcoming worlds

She loved the morning best. She felt free in her night gown, standing still
in her garden, just a part of the world she had created.

A very rough idea for upcoming 'sets' I want to create to go with my felted animals.
I am going to paint the sets, and maybe add some items. But this is just a very quick and crude form. Maybe she is standing on moss, with leaves nearby. I want the background set to be able to be folded and shipped so a person can easily set it up on a table.

There are not enough hours in the day for my mind's activities.

The cat that became an elephant

The transformation of any creation is the fuel for keeping magic in one's day. Like all my rag dolls, I can't seem to work from any set plan, but this is the signature of all my work really.

So, I set out to make a cat, but it turned into this little elephant. Ella Elephant likes to wear short dresses but no pants. This helps her go swimming like elephants like. She wears a pink ribbon to attract boy elephants. Her little tail is the sweetest little tail imaginable!

Ella Elephant is a one of a kind creatures, full of personality, and like any creature, can not be duplicated. I am working on other felted creatures, and want to do some 3D sets to place them in, like mini theater stories. It's still in my head.
It will most likely be a gigantic 3D mess, much like my monkey houses of past, but I will forge ahead with hammer, saw and nails. Martyn will cringe and step in. Soon perhaps he will build me a stage of some kind for theatrical performances with felt puppets and guest appearances from Phinias T. Barnum and others. [I have convinced him to make a special magic door to the "Pino's Pie Place" where the donkeys will be for the June 28th Pie Day].

Creatures helping Amelia

NOTE: The Paypal button I originally had below isn't working. So email me and I will send an electronic invoice for now until I figure it out. Wow! I knew you'd love them. Only one donkey left! Now, what about those sweet sheep? Sheep are $18.50 each [includes s/h]

I recently met Deborah Holmes who lives about an hour from me. She has chickens and some goats and has a love of donkeys. In fact, she might own a donkey someday. Deborah knows how to work with felt, one of my favorite things, and she made some mini felt creatures and showed them to me. I was in love and immediately encouraged her to make more! Aren't they so wonderful?

Deborah is raising funds for a friend who needs a transplant. All the money from selling these little creatures will go directly to the National Transplant Assistance fund to help Deborah's friend, Amelia. She captured the spirit of a donkey so well. She also did some sweet little sheep. They are $25-$28.50, includes USA s/h.

And next month, Deborah is going to come teach me how to make these! Can you imagine what will happen when I know how to make felt creatures? A barnyard will form over time....And I thought they might be fun to make for care packages from Pino to elderly or cancer wards. Scroll down to see Paypal button, and select your item.

Wind in the Dolls

They've been talking all week about the big storm coming, and it is now firmly under way. Winds of up to 100 mph are predicted for the coast and our valley winds could make 70 mph. I'm hoping I don't fly away, but if I do I hope I have a donkey or maybe Boone at my side for warmth. I'm keeping my fingers crossed the power and phones stay on. We sat by the fire last night listening to the torrents of rain, dogs and cat warm at our feet. Being inside in a storm, makes one feel graced.

Going out to do barn chores in the wind gusts this morning was special too. There's always sort of this anticipation in a wind storm. I don't take them lightly after making it though a straight line wind storm in Minnesota. Out here, the barn roofs flap and the barn itself makes the most peculiar sounds. The pouring rains pound the tin roofs, animals all inside, soaked, their bodies letting off steam. It feels safe in the barn, especially on a rainy day. I spent time buckling down the hatches, and giving extra hay to everyone. The chickens are miserable and I'm low on feed. I was almost lost in 4 tons of hay bales, as I climbed to the top, about 15 feet up, and put my foot in a crevice. Safely back down on the ground, I slipped in mud but Hazel the barn cat was there to greet me. Even the ewes, always up for stormy weather, have stayed in the barn most of the day.

As I quickly made a new trench in Boone's pasture to help keep as much water away from his dry area as possible, I was struck with the fact that I get to do things almost all day that I got to do as a child. I was making a little river in mud, and creating little channels to alleviate the gutter runoff- it was just like making streams and dams as a child...And I climbed on hay bales - up on top, it felt like a tree house. I came inside and made more raggedy dolls , like this Grandmother Mouse, and the Funny Looking Donkey. Working without a pattern or plan, just free form, just like the messes I made as a young girl.

Here comes another wave of downpours. I can smell soup cooking in the kitchen.

Homes Needed

Homes are needed for some of my beloved raggedy doll messes. Visit my Etsy shop to see these and two more cat raggedies. If you want that perfectly sewn doll, these will not work for you. But if you can look at imperfections as personality quirks, and a messy dresser as an independant thinker, these dolls will be your friends. All are filled with our own Apifera Farm lavender bud. While I can't compete with prices of some production sewers, I can tell you that the hours in each one were spent in that creative zone where the world disappears. The happiness I experience while making these is immersed in each doll - and you just can't put a price on happiness.

I will be doing more dolls as I have time. They bring me such joy to make. I really want to do a girl, her donkey and a basket of fresh pie - but I haven't figured out how to do the pie [filled with berries] in a way that won't take me all day.

Next week, I have BIG donkey news. And in case anyone is wondering, I do plan on getting back to painting next week.

Aprons, again...

And you thought maybe I might have calmed down a bit about apron wearing...I made some apron clad rag dolls, stuffed with Apifera's lavender bud. I sold them all,alas, before putting them online - so made another, shown here. This little farm cat wears a lovely pink and white striped half apron...Her raggedy blue tail is like that of many of our once ferels, caught in too many fences. She's looking for a good home, and can be found at the Etsy shop .

And don't forget about the current September art raffle , speaking of raggedy cats...

Yesterday I was able to take a long ride with Boone. We walked in a recently cut hay field of a nearby farmer who has 300 acres and graciously lets me ride there, enabling me to stay off the busy roads as much as possible. It is flat land, with the coastal range in the distance, but the openness reminded me of riding in North Dakota. And the fall weather made me melancholy. I felt old and young all mashed together. Life and good health are precious. I have so much to create. But the ride helped stop my head for while. Boone's large feet made the dried leaves crunch and the sound was comforting. I remembered other walks and rides, and short journies as a child, kicking leaves as I walked home, knowing there was a homemade snack for me and my dog to play with.