Itties

I like making the Itties–the raggedy, one-of-a-kind tiny dolls that come with the new book if you so desire. The book is only 4 x 6" high, so you see the dolls are...well...itty. Here is one I just completed for a customer who already has one Itty and needs another as a gift.

I thought of Itty today. I wondered how she was. I am not in touch with the owners of our old farm for a variety of reasons. But it doesn't mean I don't think of Itty, and the old flock, Hazel the barn cat, Peach and all the souls buried there. But there are so many walking sounds here and that is my charge now-to care for them, and revel in their beauty.

I have some exciting news coming up soon that will make you all very happy I think.

Itty readers of the world sharing

I am getting photos from people all over the country who have received their Itty Bitty books, and are reading it to their feline friends.

I'm hoping the book will also be read to pigs, llamas, horses, donkeys and goats, and elders in homes and children before naps.

You can see some of Itty's readers at the book page. Keep them coming!

Itty Bitty Dolls

You can now get an Itty Bitty Doll and a copy of the new Itty book!

Back in the fall, some of the original supporters of the book  donated at a certain level that earned them an Itty doll along with their books. They were fun to make and I decided to offer them again. Each is unique, no two are alike. They are tiny, about 3".

If you were one of the original donators at the Itty Doll level, they will be shipped with your book this week.

Visit the Itty page to place orders.

Books and updates!

I wanted to let everyone who supported the original fundraiser for the New Itty Bitty & Big Etta book that your copies are being packed and I am busy shipping them out in stages. So you all get your book[s] by mid February at the latest, most likely sooner. I hope you love them; the size is so small and intimately itty, but I hope the feeling of it is Big Etta love for all of you.

Secondly, don't forget to sign up for the newsletter. I have changed some things on it in the past months. There is a monthly email with animal/Misfit news, farm updates, new books/art notices and subscriber only deals for the shop [comes out end of month; there is also a weekly Monday mailing I call "Happy Hope", a piece of art or image with a brief one sentence statement that will start your week with art/visual love and goodness.

Time to pre-order- the printing contract has been signed!

Please visit the Itty Bitty book page and pre-order the new book. I have signed the printing contract and we have a due date for the book's birth on January 13, which happens to be my mother's birthday and I take it she is watching over this project.

I expect to get your books out to you the first week of February [sooner if books arrive as scheduled]. Perfect for Valentines day love sharing.

Thank you to everyone who helped the initial Kickstarter. Because the Kickstarter failed to fund, I have the Itty book page set up for pre-orders and extra support if you care to give that at this time. I have secured 75% or the original Kick amount, enough to at least pay off the printer and not go into debt. So pre-orders really help an indie author...thank you.

Please share the book with your friends too [link below]! I also have some exciting news which I'll report here soon-in a nutshell, we are creating a Cat Healing Cottage where I will take in elderly/special needs cats.

Share this link with friends:
http://apiferafarm.blogspot.com/2016/09/a-new-book.html

Let us all act like BIG ETTA today! Roar!

Yesterday at 3 pm, the Kickstarter campaign ended, and I came up $2,000 short. Heartbreak. I got lots of supportive comments, but at the time, I felt it was just the way it was going to go down.

But I woke today after bad sleep with my blood on fire! It is as if Big Etta came inside me and said,

"Get up! Don't QUIT! get on with it."

There is no room for ittiness today. I have setup a page on my blog so you can pre-order/pledge to the book. I have talked to some backers who did not get to the Kick page in time, and with some quick stepping, I can make this work. I was only $2000 shy, I can do this Big Etta way.

I have asked all Kickstarter patrons to resubmit their pledge on the blog page. Once I hit that amount that will cover printing, I will alert everyone. The same page will continue to take pre-orders. Just like the funding campaign, I have to hit that magic number before i can send the book to the off set printer so  I can pay for the printing and pay for shipping, about $8500. I have worked out arrangements with the animator [the original Kick campaign sought $12,000 to cover marketing, animation and fees, as well as printing, rewards and shipping].

PLEASE support the book. The people that pledged to the Kick campaign are already responding in Big Etta ways.

I AM NOT LETTING THIS BOOK FADE.

The goal is to get the money collected in a week, then get in the printer schedule and gets files checked so a book can be delivered in early 2017. Once i have a printer contract, I will be able to give a firm deliver date to you.

23 hours

I don't need to tell you it is hard to see that this one might not make it.

There are 23 hours left to make a pledge. That's 3 PM East coast time on Thursday. I am still $3,000 short of the goal.

5 days left to help this book...no funding, no book

{Love and appreciation to all of you reading this who have supported my book "Itty Bitty & Big Etta" which is entering the final days to get funding!! THANK YOU!  Visit the movie and fund page.}

This is my third self published book where I've used Kickstarter-which means people pledge amounts at a preferred reward level, but if I don't reach my funding goal [which can not be changed] then I don't get one cent, and the pledgers are not charged, nor does Kickstarter make any money.

Raising funds this way is hard work. Each time is a roller coaster. And each time I have to reach out, repeatedly, to my followers and ask for money. It's not all that comfortable for me to do, nor is it easy for any artist I know. It is not a matter of sending out one or two emails, it takes a lot of them-and I'm happy to say I've only lost one email subscriber to it...so far.

But, I have worked hard and with all my heart on this book, and the art,  and am proud of it. I know other people are too. I think it shares a simple but profound lesson-let others be who they have to be, even if it isn't what you want, even if the consequences might hurt you, they need to be themselves to be happy.

There are over 100 supporters of the book so far, but we need more. Time is running out and if the goal is not reached by Wednesday afternoon, there will be no birthing.

I so appreciate the pledgers who have upped their amount-that is so gracious, thank you! And many are really sharing and writing eloquent statements as to why they support this project. That means the world to me-to feel like people appreciate the work I've been doing all these years as an artist and writer. We writers/artists online give away a lot of work and heart everyday. It's part of social media now, it's part of marketing. But I see that changing–I think many of us are worn out, and are seeing less return for all our efforts, not only financially but with results that make giving away free work worth it such as book sales, art being sold, events being attended, and Kickstarters coming to a happy fruition. None of us who truly HAVE to paint or write for our souls do it for the money, but we do need to make a living, fairly, just like a doctor, lawyer or magazine. Kickstarter allows many of us indie authors and artists to create worthy projects that would go unmade without support.

• Share on social media, tell why you love the book, don't just post a link.
• Send a message to famous Facebookers, what is there to lose? Or people with high traffic.
• Pick one person you know who loves cats, or who is living life as their 'ownself' and share the link http://kck.st/2dBkAFF

I do not have anything up my sleeve. I do not have the ability to pay for this book on my own to be published. And I am not interested in producing it by print-on-demand. I have published all my books with an offset printer so I can choose paper stock, have quality hard covers, and have interior end sheets that are illustrated. I have never felt let down by the printer I work with, and I like working directly with a printer that I can talk to. And, the cost per book is so much lower this way, I would hardly make a dime the other way...and I have looked at hose options, and have been contacted by several POD companies and they can't compare tot he prices [the down side, if you call it that, is I have to do a higher print run].

So, that's it. I have until Wednesday afternoon East coast time [so West coast supporters, don't wait until Wednesday]. If you haven't seen the animated movie to promote the book, please watch it, even if you don't pledge. I just love the video [that Angela Kassube made for me]. And of course you get to hear my use playing!

Inside creatures

The house is less full without Huck, but I think of him often, and when I do, his face and that Lady Di look he would give me comes into my head; it is our current way of being together.

Muddy in some odd ways has taken on more of Huck's personality. He doesn't come up the stairs, which is so like Huck who was even concerned if he had to go around a scary door jam. He checks on me more and he worries more about some sounds and comes to my side for reassurance. He sleeps more but he is going on seven. We joked that Mud will go out of this world as a pup, where as Huck came into this world as an old man. I've seen this often in the past years of animal care taking-when one of a pair dies, the other often shifts, sometimes by blossoming, as Sophie did after victor passed, and sometimes by becoming more like the lost buddy. I think Mud is just fine. He actually played with Hughie the other day and it was pretty funny.

Big Tony is aging. He is at least 15 we think but could be older. What we've seen in the past months is his hind end is weakening. We have makeshift steps all over the house for him, to get up to his food dish, to get up on his perch, to get up in the bed. He is not cleaning himself as well either and often comes to bed with poo in his hind paws. I figure it will happen to me, unable someday to tidy myself, so I care for him and place no shame on him. He sleeps by my head at night and we have talks. I told him,

"You are the cat I should have written about. You are here."

He is in the book. The book is struggling to get birthed. I can't deny it. Many have come on board, many who usually do, have not. I'm done analyzing it. We even got named a "Project We Love" by Kickstarter, and I'm appreciative of that. When I first wrote what was then called "Raggedy Love' back in '08 era, I worked with a top notch, well known freelance editor who used to be an in house editor at Chronicle and Workmen. He was very helpful and I learned so much from him about keeping a book focused. He also pitched that book to about 12 houses, and it was well received, but it didn't get picked up. He told me something though that was very true and something for all artists/authors to know:

A book has a life of its own.

He went on to share stories of an author's book not getting picked up, and the author went on to make another book, or more, and years down the road, the first book gets picked up. That was true with what would become "Donkey Dream", I had to birth it myself years later, but it sat in a pile for years. So, this Itty book has its own life and I don't have a magic ball to predict its future, or demise.

I do have a really exciting project I'm creating and I can't wait to share it, but it will be after the Kickstarter campaign is over, no matter what the outcome.

Six years ago this week, a one pound sensation came into my life

Six years ago this week, this coming Saturday to be exact, a one pound cat came into my life, out of the blue, on a rainy rural highway. She leapt out of the bramble as log trucks were coming from both directions. My heart almost stopped. She somehow managed to avoid death, and as I pulled off the road, she sat waiting for me, in the middle of the highway, as if the yellow divider line was made especially for her as a guide.

I was on my way to an appointment and had Huck in the car. I remember thinking,

I do NOT need another cat. I can not bring this cat home.

At that point of Apifera, we had 25 cats. We had arrived in 2004 to the farm, and were immediately greeted by a little orange tabby tumbling out of the hay bales. That was Gus. He was one of five, and Mama Kitty was busy getting pregnant, by none other than Big Tony. By the time I could trap/spay/neuter the kittens, Mama had another litter who I also trapped/spayed/neutered. It took me two years to trap Mama, and she had a third litter but moved them to a neighbor's barn. In between, other cats just seemed to arrive, hearing perhaps that the accommodations were good. And they were. Samuel Noel, Mr. Bradshaw, One Eye, BW, Tomentosa, Miss Prairie Pussytoes and of course, Phinias T. Barnum. Oh, and Miss Peach.

I turned the truck around with this kitten on my lap. I was sure she was going to freak out, and driving with an unknown cat, uncaged, was dangerous. I had had trips to the ER because of working with feel kittens. But she sat on my lap, calmly, occasionally uttering her infamous,

Meh.

I took her to my vet to see if they could take her but they were full up. She was only 1#, skinny, bad eyes and we weren't sure if she would make it. When Martyn came home that night, I greeted him at the door.

"I was minding my business. But I had to bring her in," I said.

He later told me he assumed I'd brought a raccoon in the studio or baby skunk. But when he saw her that day, he said, like he was looking at a newborn baby,

"Of course you had to bring her home."

This the man that courteously told me-many eons ago-he could not tolerate cats. He and Itty were bonded from day one. She immediately favored Martyn and we used to joke that I saved her, but she would choose him if forced to pick. He loved that cat. I'd catch him cooing to her, or talking to her like an old school chum. Itty was very independent but each night, when she chose to come in from her Big Etta world, she would venture to Martyn's side of the bed.

Meh, I'd hear, in her faintest form of "meh". And he'd put her under his covers.

So the sign you see here had a real meaning when I made it way back when. No other sign at the old Apifera brought more delight to visitors. To me, it has no meaning in the present day at the old farm, it's a novelty item now and I should have taken it down in honor of the beautiful story of 25 cats that all lived there once. I wish I had. It had a function then, to warn the delivery people and other trucks coming up the road, that, yes, there were indeed cats falling from trees.

So, here I am asking you to once again partake in Itty. That darn little cat. I am making one final push, in her honor, to get funding for this book. We have 10 days left.

If you can honor her, and me, with a pledge, I thank you. And I am grateful for the 90 current pledges, and tot he people who have upped their pledge, and shared the story with others.

Starting from scratch is just fine with me

From "Itty Bitty & Big Etta"

I've had a recurring conversation with many people who have lost parents, friends, loved ones and animals. It is something that I learned over time, that is the only way I get though losing someone-it is an acquired skill of being a living human...left behind at the party after another departs.

One must find their own unique language with the departed love one. No matter how strong one's personal belief's of an after world, or lack there of, it is very hard as a human to live with out the physical presence of a loved one. All the trappings we latch onto as humans are gone- the voice we reached out to on the phone for laughs, comfort, and advice; the image of a pet at our feet; the reality that an old friend is not going to suddenly appear at your favorite bookstore-it's a cold reality that comes with staying behind in the living world.

I also find, for myself, that this language I must learn with to communicate with each passed creature evolves over time–Like learning any new language, one has to work at adding to the vocabulary.

Dreams are important for me, a way to visit in a more visual way with loved ones who are gone. My parents are often in dreams. Oddly, before they died, I used to dream about dining with them but we were also always looking at empty houses, and I was always thinking in the dream I needed to get back to the farm, and find Martyn. They weren't frightening dreams, but those dreams seem to have subsided. They went on for years though. I now tend to have encounters with my parents in the woods, through the sounds of the leaves, or in a snowfall, a red cardinal, the full moon is always my parents together, the wind is always my father, and my mother comes to me in voice all the time-usually in encouragement, or motherly advice.

This art is from the "Itty Bitty & Big Etta" book. Itty doesn't come to me as much in dreams now as she did when we first moved, but it was always with the same message, that she is where she needs to be to be her true self.

The Kick campaign is winding down, ten days to go and we are only at 44%. I have analyzed it to death, asked questions of past and present backers, and am at peace whatever the outcome is. I'm done analyzing it. I just want to work again so am focusing on my studio. Marketing these campaigns is not for the shy-one has to keep asking followers to pledge, and as one successful Kickstarter campaigner told me years ago-you will lose some fans because of it, but will gain others. That seems to be true.

My life is shifting. It appears some followers weren't willing to make the shift. And that's okay. But I'm going forward. I have lots of ideas for shuffling the blog around, how I use social media [I failed last month at deleting my Facebook profile, but I have some new ideas on that for the coming weeks] and what work I want to generate in coming months-including my sewn creatures, and the novel idea I keep procrastinating on.

I'm starting from scratch. I finally figured that out.

I'm rebuilding my intentions. It meant letting go of some things, and some followers.

"Soon or later it all gets real, walk on." {Neil Young}

This is a crucial crossroads

We are at a crucial stage in the Kickstarter campaign for the new book and have only 18 days left. The initial pledges came in early and strong-thank you! But we are not at 30% which is usually a benchmark of success for Kick projects.

I am not going to ask anyone who has already pledged to up their pledge at this stage. We simply need more supporters. In the past 200 or so pledges usually come in to get us to $12,000-15,000. We are far from that, and only 18 days to go.

I will ask you to one thing. Write one or two people you know, maybe people who like cats, people who love art...people who love small intimate books, and ask them watch the video, and pledge.

If each of you bring in one to two people, it would be powerful!

{FYI, Itty Bitty is alive and well, and still lives on the old farm with the new owners. Some people were afraid to ask. While this is a book about a loss, it is about me losing a creature because I had to accept her true spirit and what was best for her, and accept this as what was meant to be.}

Vintage video of itty

Some vintage video of Itty when she first came to Apifera. Warms my broken heart of this memory. We are at 23% funded for the new book.

Itty Bitty dolls

I decided I'm going to have some fun and make Itty Bitty dolls [5" or so] and offer them on the Kickstarter funding page as a reward level, which has been set up to publish my new book, Itty Bitty & Big Etta {A Tale of Acceptance}.

We have 25 more days and are at 20% funding; no money is released unless we reach 100% of the goal.  

Each doll will be completely unique from the other and this is an example of one that combines felting with cloth. I will use as much found material and fiber from our farm and animals too.

Help birth the new book!

A poetic illustrated tale of a brave kitten who had wings all along and no matter the consequences, chose to be her ownself.

The link to the funding page is http://kck.st/2dBkAFF

We have thirty days to work together to get another little illustrated book into the world. I am in love with the animated video we made [thank you to Angella Kussabe for her talent on this one!].

Please take time to watch the video and visit the Kickstarter page to help me get this story into the world. I will be sharing it a lot through the next thirty days but if we can get a strong showing this first week it always keeps my blood pressure down, and helps generate interest from the Kickstarter staff.

Do it for me. Do it for Itty.

Do it for all the creatures both animal and human you know that dare to be "their ownselves".