When women merge with cats

This is the current sale piece at the shop. It is called "Woman Merging with Cat". I know many of my readers have merged with cats and are perfectly accepting of the situation.

I also caught these photos a couple days ago from the Elder Cat Suite.

Sir Tigger sits as Noritsu's shadow lurks

Noritsu

15 years for the white cat

Noritsu turns 15 tomorrow. What a magnificent cat he is. There is mystery about white animals, a spiritual aspect to them that does not go unnoticed at Apifera. There is the mystery of White Dog, the shape shifter of Marcella, and now Noritsu. Noritsu brought himself to me, there is no doubt. I saw his photo at the shelter, one that I don't normally adopt cats from, and that face stuck with me. A couple months later, after his face kept coming into my mind, I adopted him. Little is known of his past, except that he came from out of the area.

The past lives of these cats...what they knew, who they knew, where they lived...we never really have the answers. But I spend time just peering into their eyes, or resting my forehead on theirs...much is said that way. I just have never been able to put it into words...yet.

I hope we have many years with Noritsu. I call him Nurse Noritsu at times. When Laci, and Maxine were dying, it was Noritsu who stood with me while I cared for them.  He cared for me.

{If you like the work we do here with the elder cats and other animals, please consider a small donation, or visit our wish list page. Thank you.}

Wisdom of the cat

"I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself, 

than be crowded on a velvet cushion."

- Henry David Thoreau

Well, when not in pumpkin season, we will take a box.

White creatures arrive for many reasons...like the cat that is a nurse

I have had a number of pure white animals come into my life-usually with magical stories that capture all of our imaginations and leave us pondering their initial beginnings. Often in the past, when I've written about them individually, someone always pops up and says,

They came for you, they are there to help you.

And this is a comforting thing to say, and hear. And I feel I can say that in each case, it has grown to be true-they do help me in ways I might not have predicted.

Of course, one of the more famous white animals to arrive at Apifera is White Dog, aka Benedetto. The story on how he got here has taken many twists and turns in my imagination, and yours. I have written about it many times so won't go into details on this post, but I can say that I do know without hesitation, Benedetto was meant to come to us for himself, to save himself...but he has also become intwined in our lives, and I rely on him here for many reasons. The obvious is he keeps the predators at bay, which right now means eagles that fly over head-he goes nuts ever since one took one of The Bottomtums. But he has another job, and that is to be pure in his intent with me.

I can't hide anything from Ben. And his eyes, don't hide much from me.

We have a ritual I've told you about-I look into his big dark brown eyes, and I say,

"Everything is okay, it is okay, right?"

I started this before we moved to Maine, during the weeks leading up to what would be a traumatic yet exciting move for all of us, and I was supposed to be the leader. I actually think I was a good leader for the animals, and Martyn, and I dealt to every detail of the trip, the move and the packing. But I would look White Dog in the eyes, and tell him, "It's okay, it's going to be okay, you'll see." I said it because I meant it, and I also knew that he and the others could pick up on the tiniest of sensations I might be emitting about stress over the move.

Now that we are here, it is so clear to me that one of the gifts I've given Benedetto, is Maine. He loves it here. He truly is in his element-the cold winter, less rain,, more snow...and he now has his area to protect, and Marcella has hers. They still come together when I let them have wolf play dates, but he is much more his own man now.

All the worry I had, wondering if White Dog would try to find a way to escape once in Maine...is gone. He has never tried, and out West, he would occasionally bolt on us. Not now. I would not put it past him, but he is just more settled here. Perhaps it is just the time has passed-we still don't really know how old he is so maybe he is just more mature. But I believe he is more,

in and of himself, something any of creatures wants, and needs to blossom and thrive, and be at peace.

And there is Noritsu. I saw his face on the shelter's website, and I couldn't shake it. He was actually at a shelter slightly farther away than our local county's shelter where all the elder cats have come from, so I pushed it out of mind. Then a couple other cats came our way, and I thought, okay, Noritsu was not meant to be with us.

But I went back, maybe two months later, and there he was again. And I felt compelled to adopt him, and I did.

I'm so glad. Because Noritsu has a very important job-he is a nurse. Not only does he nurse the cats that I must nurse by standing with me and reaching out to them, but he nurtures me. As I sat holding Laci as she was clearly dying, he came to be with me, immediately...Nurse Noritsu.

Oh I can hear the naysayers. He's friendly. He'd come to you no matter what, he just likes people.

No, it's more than that.

We don't know where Noritsu came from, we don't know anything about his back story, except that he is elderly. Perhaps he nurtured an elder man until their death...perhaps he had other elder animals in the house too. But when he came to Apifera, he checked it all out, sat for a couple days to get comfortable, and then...he just started being a nurse.

I like seeing an animal's true purpose coming through, and being utilized even in their older years.

My sweet nurse, Noritsu, you are very important to me. And you, White Dog, it is okay, isn't it?

Noritsue comes to me, as I hold Laci 

Always the nurse to me, Noritsu as I hospice Laci

Another elder arrives at Apifera

Introducing, Miss Spring

I brought her home from the shelter yesterday and so decided her name will be Miss Spring. It seemed fitting, not only because of the calendar date, but because she now will begin a new life here, new chapters to her long life. She is over thirteen but is in very good condition. She was loved and cared for. Her former owner died recently, and it turns out she was a hoarder, a sad situation for anyone to be in. But she did care for her three cats and one dog. They were pretty well fed and are very sociable and people loving, so that owner loved them, and I'm sure those cats brought her some peace. Hoarding is a tragic situation and is misunderstood by many people. We must not shame these people, they need help and understanding.

So when the owner died, the neighbor alerted authorities there was a dog, which they had found [he has a new home] but there were also three cats. It took them awhile to discover the cats under all the debris.

I had been told about Miss Spring about a month or more ago-she has been at the shelter since about January. But I was focused on Laci, who I knew was on her last leg of her journey. I am glad I listened to my instinct. The minute I got Laci home, I knew she was not going to be with us long. She seemed to have given up. Sometimes this can be a medication issue, an imbalance in the thyroid meds. But Laci had been checked many times by vets. Her intake papers say she was brought to the shelter at her elder age because "the landlord would not allow cats". It is easy to judge, I catch myself doing it. It is easy to get frustrated with human beings, and assume they are the bad guy in these cases. For all we know, the owner was elderly, or poor, and really felt the shelter was the only avenue.

But I do wonder if Laci just wanted to move on. And she did. She slowly became more inward, and grew into that distant gaze look I've seen many times. Last week I knew her final day had come. It was not a vet intervention situation, it was a hospice situation. I spent a lot of time with her, as I had been all month, but that final day I held her a lot and talked to her a lot when needed. She was pretty much mentally gone, but her body took time to fully fade. I am glad I could be with her. And that is why I had held off on bringing Miss Spring home. I wanted to dote on Laci.

But I am so glad she is here now. Miss Spring is a sweet old girl! She has acclimated very quickly and is getting along fine so far. Of course Noritsu was the first to introduce himself. Anna let Miss Spring know she is top female, and Miss Spring kind of did a "Meh."

I love Calicos. You all might remember the elusive Mama Kitty, mother to most of the old farm's feral clan? And Yume seems to recognize,

"You have spots like me."

I hope she has many months, even years to come. She has no known medical conditions, and was right up on the breakfast table this morning.

Now let's hope Miss Spring will see Spring soon [as we await yet another Nor'easter tomorrow]. Sigh. Meh.

Yume thinks Miss Spring looks familiar

And of course, Noritsu was there to make introductions

And so it begins...The Old Kitty Knitty Club

A post shared by Katherine Dunn / Apifera Farm (@katherinedunnapiferafarm) on Feb 7, 2018 at 10:37am PST

As you know if you've been following me over the years, I get many brilliant ideas, some of which fizzle, and some that go on to have a life of their own, like the time I thought it would be fun if people sent my donkeys aprons-we know how that took on a life of its own.

And I have an inkling that the Old Kitty Knitty Club is not going to fizzle out soon. We had our first small gathering yesterday, just three of us...always good to start small....it makes it more intimate too. And I had never had a group of people in the cat suite so needed to see how that went. The room and table are perfect for 3-4 people so I think that is a good choice right now. We really had fun too.

The idea behind The Old Kitty Knitty Club was that I wanted to find a way to bring people into the cat room to socialize with them, but also bring some good out of the room. And I love knitted wrist warmers. And I want to do more knitting but actually MAKE something. And I wanted something to give back to my elder friends Opie and I visit. See how my mind works? We will be gathering and knitting wrist warmers, and at the end of the year or whenever we have enough, I will gift the wrist warmers to our various elder homes we visit.

I would also love to be using our fiber from our CVM sheep. I have about 8# of washed CVM fiber [uncarded/uncombed] and another 7# of Assumpta's beautiful Blue Leister washed fiber. I am also open to having someone spin the fiber for me and give me yarn back in exchange for keeping some themselves, and then I could make wrist warmers. I'm afraid doing all the spinning and such through a facility is going to be cost prohibitive-but it's so gorgeous, I refuse to waste the wool. If I can't make that work, I might just hand felt it into wrist warmers. We'll see. I also use the wool to make Bird Balls, or bed warmers if needed for the animals-so fear not, it is not wasted.

I was really interested to see how the cats would react. As I suspected, Papi was all about it! And so was Noritsu who I have to tell you is such a wonderful guy they all are-but Noritsu clearly had a home and was loved, and really likes to have people around. He's not a lap sitter, at least not yet, but he approaches newcomers and when I am in the room, he is interested in being loved. So Noritsu and papa thought we had created this party just for them. I guess maybe Papi is now the President of The Old Kitty Knitty Club and Noritsu is Social Secretary. I will have to have some wool ball protectors next time! Yume acted like I knew she would, slinking off to a cubby-BUT! nothing like when she arrived, and what pleased me is she went to be in the cubby with Tig, and she didn't try to bury herself in a blanket like when she arrived. Anna sat up on a ledge observing everything, completely in control of her space.

People have asked how they can become members of The Old Kitty Knitty Club from afar:

• Knit some wrist warmers, make a hand tag with your name/location and mail them to Papi, President of the Old Kitty Knitty Club, Apifera Farm, 315 Waldoboro RD, Bremen, ME 04551 and they will be given as a gift to one of our elder friends when Opie and I visit
• If you harvest your own fiber, you can donate small quantities of wool for wrist warmers
• Visit the Pinterest board I've started for knitted wrist warmers

So stay tuned, we will be having another get together in the coming weeks. 

Noritsu really likes this idea

The elder cats preparing for guests

Noritsu is a muse

I am a body of breath [and I have a tire around my middle]

The cat is a wonderful creature. I have always admired them for their combination of survival skills: the ability to appreciate zen over stress, finding food and shelter when needed, and taking full advantage of their body's grace to keep themselves limber, even as they age.

A reminder for us all, including myself-keep stretching, use it or lose-or don't use it and feel your muscles tense up.

I still do yoga each morning, although it's dwindled down to about 10 minutes. But when I don't for even a couple days, I can feel it in my lower back.

I'm noticing my age more and more as I near sixty. I don't want to turn this blog into a space of ailments, but I'm somewhat frustrated by certain things that have been happening in my body since about 56. When I find myself getting depressed about it, I push it away, because there are are so many other things that could be wrong, and aren't. I've lost two people to cancer, my age, this past month. I see friends fighting all sorts of debilitating diseases-having a fatter middle is nothing compared to that.

I watch the elder cats stretch and jump, sit and sleep, focused on a light beam, a window of snow flakes...or a dish of food being consumed by a fellow cat-they do it all with a balance of intrigue and calm. I doubt they are noticing the fact their tummies have dropped-or that mine is a certain size. I found this an annoying thing to go through-the frustration of putting on post menopause weight after working hard to maintain a good weight through my adult years. I've never been one to diet, I love food-good food fortunately. So when I put on some weight in my early thirties, I went to Weight Watchers. They weren't going to let me in because I was one pound under the limit. But they did. I'm sure when I walked in the group that was there-mainly people older than 55, and mainly people with a lot more weight to lose than my wimpy 12 pounds-but I went every week and listened. I've thought of this one man a lot as I struggle with weight in the last few years. He was a sweet, quiet man, probably about 65. Every week, the leader would end the session with asking people if they had 'special challenges' that week that might trigger over eating. This fellow would always quietly say, just two words,

"Portion control."

Every week, he looked the same to me. And there I was whipping off my weight 1-2 pounds a week. Oh to have hormones and be young again.

I never gained it back...until one day, I hit my fifties. I was active, I ate well, I knew how to take it off. But this time it didn't come off. It brought on angst because when I was little, someone I loved very much patted me on the belly and told me I was "too young to be fat." Of course, I was not fat, I was just a little 8 year old that had a slight paunch. But it crushed me. And I know my angst about not being able to lose the tire around my middle is tied up into that, or partially is.

I don't like having this tire to carry around. But...I walk with Muddy, eat right and my attitude is that what is most important is strength, breath, and life. I don't want to die wishing I'd eaten more olives. And if you think about it, we would never look back at being ten and think, "I wish I had that waist again," why do some of us think we should aspire to the waist and neckline of our early forties. I just never thought my middle would get to this. It's just sort of a little cloud that is behind my head all the time. I can look the other way and the beautiful blue sky, or acknowledge it from time to time, quickly, and focus on my breath and life.

I always thought I had it under control. But I don't, my body is just doing what it is programmed to do via my particular DNA and no matter how many calories I count out the tire will be there. Can it get smaller? Yea, but the last time I tried that I was eating 1000 calories a day. What a drag. The same calories that maintain weight for me at 40-50, well, now it means eating so little to lose 1/4 pound. I want to eat...I don't know, God forbid, 1500 calories a day at least.

Eye floaters, the loss of my perfect blood pressure from my entire adult life until menopause...carpel tunnel, the known fact that when I trip in the barn it might take months to heal instead of weeks...it's all part of the package of getting older. But the package is also about breath, and life, and the fact some of us still get to be here in relatively good health. I like what I heard an elder woman say about her body, she had been a modern dancer her entire life, but at 90 still loved to dance, and did. Her arms were sagging and her muscles had deteriorated, but she still moved gracefully about the floor, and she said she thinks of her body now as a 'body of breath." I liked that, I am going to focus on acknowledging I am a body of breath.

Introducing two more elder arrivals

Noritsu, a beautiful pure white cat who had a face that embedded in my mind, and heart, has arrived at Apifera. His background is a mystery, and having known him now for two days, I would say he himself has many mysteries deep inside of him. Perhaps in time they will be revealed.

After our birthday celebration with our elder friends, Opie and I drove to the shelter to get Noritsu. I was pretty much minding my own business, waiting for the shelter helper to get done with a phone call, and I wandered into the needy cat room. I had remembered another cat I had seen some months ago, a black and white who had a face that also struck me. And there he was.

As I listened to his story, I knew I would be taking him home. This cat had gone through a horrible ordeal. He suffered from calcium blockage/urinary issues-prevelant in many cats- and it was so bad, and so painful for him, that he chewed his penis off. The vet then did a surgery on him that basically made 'him' a 'her'. He also had a growth on his tail removed which I guess is why his tail is short.

So there I was, with a goat in the car, and two old cats. I got them to the Elder Cat Suite and they got right down to introductions which went perfectly. Of course Anna had to let them know she was ticked off, but she'll get over it. The challenge is feeding the b/w his special urinary food, which he has to be on for life. I was worried about it because he is a huge cat, as in very overweight with a belly that graces the ground almost as he walks. But he ate his food, and the others ate theirs and as long as I wait in the room to make sure the non urinary food gets eaten up, all is well. I did ponder the fact this urinary food is pricey, and the fact if he needs more medical help it will be pricey. But I felt the cat angels Apifera has found as of this date will come through-and I will continue to be open to universal magic and the power of kindness being spread by many. I just felt Noritsu needed to be here, I was pulled by him in the last months-and when I met the b/w and heard his story...I could not leave him. It's a fine balancing act of taking in the needy, and still being realistic about financial commitments to the animal...but I feel it will be okay.

I sat with them all this morning for some time. I'm very pleased the b/w chap likes my evolving hay twine chair-a project I started years ago out West and never finished. Maybe it was because it was really meant to happen here, in a room full of old cats.

The memory of The Magnificent Maurice Mittens was on my mind today. I have an innate knack for opening myself up-ofen-to the ones that are ready to find a soft spot to lay their heads, and die. In some ways, I'm proud of this history, that many of them feel or sense I am a safe entity where they can let their guard down, let it all out, and perhaps heal...or die. So I hope these guys will be around for many months or years. Noritsu is almost 15. The b/w is ten but with his health issues he might have a lot of wear and tear.

I love having a herd of cats again. We are going to be working on the upper loft this winter, where the cats will be able to free range, and I plan to have cat days, drawing days, workshops and gatherings of some kind, and let the ads mingle. I am excited for that.

And last night, Martyn heard a cat on the porch, and went to look-there was a grey cat, she ran away, but we put food out which disappeared. I guess the word is getting out.

{Please consider a year end donation or a cat food donation [right now the urinary food is most important]}.