The final pie

The final Pino Pie Day was held on Sunday under a blue window attached to the big top sky over Apifera. It was a solid turnout of friends, family, blog readers, and social media friends who had to share their real names. I thank everyone–guests and volunteers-who helped make it so special. And Peaches was probably the happiest cat in the world. Some more pics here.

It was another Pino Pie Day full of encounters with strangers and friends alike, coming together on a farm for all sorts of reasons. Some have read my blog for years and wanted to come this final Pie Day and see it in the real; others made a two hour drive or more to visit for the art and books; and there were children who I had watched grow up over the past nine years.

I had predicted a quiet day, and although it was a nice, steady turnout, it felt calm to me. I know that is because of what was inside of me. The little girl who I have since voted 'Most Enthusiastic Pino Pie Day Guest of 2015" was not feeling calm inside-her heart was puttering at high speed, thrilled at each pig snort, donkey hug and goat kiss. She found something in every nook and cranny that she willingly shared in excitement with any guest that happened to be passing by. When I had to move Boone out of a lower field mid day because of heat and flies, I let her walk on my side as I led Boone to his other paddock. These are simple encounters that child won't get on You Tube-they are little memory nuggets that impact a young heart to make dreams for a future, her future.

Then there was Gracie, age twelve, who was on her fourth Pie Day. I sensed pride in her face when I acknowledged how many times she had come to the event. She told me something as she was leaving-

"I got to do something really special this time. I just sat with the donkeys for a long time and listened and watched with them, it was really special."

Ah, heart swell comments.

That's why I did this event in the first place–to share the everyday encounters I have that I know enrich my life, in quiet ways-in turn they enrich the creatures. It doesn't take any equipment or technology to sit amongst animals. It is the best way I know to calm myself, and as I've written before, the silence and communing I do here creates an internal space-a safe space-to open up to feelings, emotions and conflicts I might have. I truly believe animals have an ability to absorb certain hard emotions we humans often have to sloth off, and they then shed that energy into the air after it cools through their bodies in some way. I recently saw a movie of a young boy having an emotional meltdown-he was about 15 and I forget what condition he had but it caused him great frustration in which he'd isolate himself in a room and sob and cry, falling into a crouched position-it was heartbreaking to watch. But his dog was always with him, and that dog just waited, in non judgement, and eventually the boy would calm, and then he'd melt into that dog's neck as his sobs lessened.

I have had meltdowns amongst my animals. Sometimes it is from sadness. Often it is boiled up anger combined with exhaustion or heatstroke, where I sit on a bucket in my barn and just let it all out. I don't call anyone over, I don't pick out one animal over another to come heal me. It's not their job. But invariably, one or two always come over. Marcella is now a big supporter of emotional cleansings. But sometimes, I sense a goat nose behind me, even a hen or two. If I sit quietly on a dust mound on Donkey Hill, there will always be Pino, standing, listening to me, understanding not what I'm upset about but that I am indeed struggling. He waits patiently until the struggle is over. When an animal dies here, I go about the chores, and as I come to each mouth I have to feed, I tell them

{Insert name} has died. I always tell Boone first as he is the first to be fed.

I think a good analogy of how I felt about yesterday's event was that it was like a mid-career retrospective. I looked around and saw all that had been done on the farm–all the paddocks and structures that would allow me to help animals. While I am not taking hundreds of animals in, just the number I can handle, the numbers aren't the point.

The point is that the animals and I come together and I use my energy creatively and spiritually to seek out a continual purpose for them, even if that purpose is to simply feel safe. When guests show up here, that's what they see. One guest said she did not look around and see misfits, she saw beautiful, loved animals before she saw disabilities.

Stevie has been giving kisses since his first days after being taken in by Sanctuary One. He was not taught to kiss, he just does it. You might think it sounds like a gimmick, or that we are all just saying it is a kiss when it is just a goat sniffing for food. I was somewhat skeptical myself when I first heard bout it. But as I grew to know him, I saw this was a way Stevie communicated his sense of trust and acceptance. I always feel Stevie's kisses come in two ways, one is,

Hello, nice day isn't it and the other is I am here and I'm okay just like this and you're okay just like that.

I can remember encounters with people in my pre-Apifera life, pre-Oregon life and pre-self employed artist life, where I'd have have a momentary inspiration that would come on fst and be tucked inside of me after I'd say to myself,

Someday I'm going to do this.

One such encounter was when I was about thirty, trying to find a way to make a living on art, and I met a woman in her seventies who was a self supporting painter. That waas truly the moment I knew someday I'd paint. It took a lot of other jobs to get there, but I did. I know each Pie Day there are guests, some of them little children- who have these momentary sparks. This year my friend and volunteer Emma was working the studio and young girl really liked my art. She wished she could paint like I did but didn't know how. Emma encouraged her, telling her how I once didn't paint either and you have to start sometime.

I've had some people -mostly people I have never met or hardly know but follow me-wonder if I'm okay. Am I sick or something that I'm ending Pino Pie Day? Are we moving?

To any good creative endeavor comes a stopping point when you know internally the painting is complete or the book is ready to be printed. This is a time of accomplishment, a time to feel good about the efforts of the last nine years, but it lso comes with a sense of relief. The farm has shifted. My work and muses have shifted. The ending of Pino Pie Day opens my internal space for other creations. I don't know what they are, but they will present themselves in time.

And there will always be Misfits out there. I will be open to them until I can't be.

If you missed Pino Pie Day, the annual fundraiser to support The Misfits, you can always contribute or subscribe on an ongoing basis.

Today I shall bake for us

I began hanging the fabrics for Pino Pie Day and just love watching the different shades of white and beige blow in the breeze, and cast shadows-abstract originals that change each second. I like putting up the sheets and banners-it is like prepping for a god dinner party, anticipating the guests and good conversations.

I spent time today making pie dough, leisurely. It was so nice, the weather is so pleasant-thank goodness, after all those 95 degree days. Perhaps my slight gloom in the last post was draught related.

Today I am breaking Pino Pie tradition. Usually, and this was a secret until this very moment, usually I make an extra walnut pie along with the others, and hide it on Pie Day to ensure Martyn and I get some later on. I know, it's horrible when the host hides food, but it's my party and I need to know that walnut pie is going to be there for me at night's end. But this year, I'm baking one tonight for us, so we can have pie leading up to the big day.

Hope I see some of you! And if you can't come, you can help out this important Misfit event by heading over to the funding page-and playing along at various reward levels.

Pondering a quiet Pino Pie Day

I am quietly preparing for the final Pino Pie Day. I say quietly because that is how it feels this year to me. It is not a sad quiet, just a realization that Pie Day is coming to an end, and I think it is a quiet end. Each year, the event has a different energy, and this year, I intuitively sense it will be a quiet energy.

Every year I try to add something new to the event-a Museum of Misfits, free kisses from Stevie, the Prayer Tree this year- but each year I have not been able to build the event in a larger market. The Portland media never were interested and that was always frustrating- what, you don't want to do a write up on me and my donkey? Assinine. Donkeyronkulous. The costs went up each year it seemed, but not the net.

The event has never been about making tons of money [I'm lucky to net $1500, but that is helpful for the Misfits] but it has begun to be financially problematic.

People have shown less interest in helping and donating this year, online donations have been very low even with the fun options of having virtual kisses from Stevie and more. For the first time I received no interested in having a local newspaper write about the event which always helps bring people in and the costs for putting it on have doubled. Hardly anybody watched Pino the Puppet's final movie. this year-even the Puppet is tired I guess.

It just feels 'over'.

Martyn and I were talking last night and I guess I was sounding discouraged and he made a very helpful comment, as he often does–

Maybe this Sunday is Pino's gift for you-to relax, and eat more pie. Be the guest of honor.

Out of the mouths of Dirt Farmers often come compassion and simple wisdoms.

So I have decided - even if the turnout is low, this Pie Day is for me. That might sound very un-host like, but I think I need it to be for me this year. I need the comfort of pie, and the dusty necks of donkeys to put my face into.It will be for The Misfits too, of course. But where there is a Misfit, there is me.

The Prayer Flag Tree

I've had a secret little prayer flag tree on Donkey Hill for some time, where I put raggedy flags to send prayers to people who might need them, or situations that are scary or sad for me. It has largely been anonymous, I don't usually tell the person I'm hanging a flag for, or write about it here except on one occasion.

But I got to thinking it would be really sweet to have a special Prayer Flag Tree at our last Pino Pie Day. I did think about it-prayers should come for free and quietly as I've been doing all along. But I put it to the Dirt Farmer, who is usually stoic and fair minded in these matters. He thought it was a nice idea and a way for followers and friends to help Apifera's fundraiser, but also have some Apifera wind floating a prayer for them or a loved one/pet.

Today I hung the first flags. I have to say it felt really nice. It's such a simple expression but what makes it even more special is the little tree they hang on, directly in front of my studio where the gardens begin. That little tree struggled for years in a landscaper container to survive. You see, Martyn has his own Misfits of Plants. Ever since I met him, he can't bare to throw out trees and plants that are dug up on his many job sites. This plum tree was about two feet tall when I met her, and was a perfect candidate to be Charlie Brown tree. She lived in a pot until we got to Apifera, where she lingered another couple years in the same pot before our gardens became more established. Finally, her roots were set free into the soil. It was still small and crooked, and after a couple years, it gave us one sweet little plum. Last year it really put on a beautiful show of color and gave us buckets of plums.

But this spring, we could tell that half of it did not survive the winter. It could have been a myriad of things-insects, blight, disease....or the fact that Stella and Iris got to the bark at some point in their illustrious careers. While the bark was not destroyed, coupled with other things, it might have killed part of the sweet tree. We sawed those branches off, and of late, the other leaves are shrinking. There is one tiny plum on her! What a precious thing, to struggle so and give us one plum!

We don't know if the tree will make it, so I told Martyn I thought she was the perfect place to hang the prayer flags for Pino's Pie Day. In that way, we are honoring her life too.

If you'd like to have a prayer flag hung in someones honor, be it pet, friend or loved one [or you!], just visit the Pino funding page and look for the Prayer Flag level.

You can come to a Virtual Pino Pie Day!

I'm trying something fun and different this year. Pino Pie Day is Sunday, June 14 here at Apifera. It is my main fundraiser to help maintain The Misfits here at the farm. But this year I wanted to have a coinciding Virtual Pino Pie Day-which will run from now until the actual event.

I thought this would be a fun way for people to partake. I have set up both a Facebook event page and a fundraising page with lots of reward levels-you can get a virtual kiss from Stevie, or The Dirt Farmer, a private message from Pino, and more. It takes about $5,000 for me to properly take care of the Misfits. No matter what, the animals are cared for-but very early on, followers of the blog wanted to chip in as more and more needy elders arrived. I am grateful. Everyone gets a reward, unless they request not to.

On the Facebook Event page I'll be posting almost daily right up until June 14-with fun videos, photos, and of course, the infamous Pino Porta Potty Movie [coming soon].

Pino Pie Day is fast approaching. There is a lot going on here, and a lot to do to get ready, as usual. Today I bought local fresh strawberries for the pie-earliest we've had them for a long time! I buy from Munoz Farm, by the way.

So if you can't come to Pie Day, or even if you are, you can enjoy all things Pino Pie at the event page-and if you are in the right place to make a donation at a reward level, visit the fundraising page!

Pino sets the date!

Pino has set the date for his big pie party!! Stay tuned for more details come spring!

If you are interested in volunteering this year, email me and I will add you to the list.