Apifera Farm - where art, story, animals & woman merge. Home to artist Katherine Dunn

Apifera Farm is a registered 501 [c][3]. All images ar©Katherine Dunn.





Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Standing on the 'it'



After four+ years of living with goats, I truly believe they have Monday morning meetings, complete with note pads coffee, and doughnuts. "Stella, you take down the north side of Pasture A, I'll handle the south side. This should keep the Tailless One busy mending that area of fence, and with the distraction, we can get into the pump house rose pavilion."

But all messes in one's day have a golden lining. Because I had to mend the fences, I also was had a visit to a spot of the property I have loved from the first moment I stood on it. And because it is also part of the Joe Pye field, it is not an area I get to frequent. Joe and I have an understanding - "You stay over there, I'll stay over here. You come in here, I take my head which is thick bone mass and hit your thighs."

Our land used to be 100 acre dairy, mostly on rolling hills that bordered up top to the forest lands and down below to the river. Within time, the farm was cut up and our spot is the original home site and barns. Fortunately, the house was well sited, sitting in a spot where we don't get too much distraction from nearby properties. And the property goes about 10 acres up the hill, so the higher one walks, the more vista one sees. When the fog rolls in, and I stand looking down over the 100+ year old barn, I can't help feel transported back to another time.

There's a certain pull of this spot of the land, and a certain welcoming. Perhaps it is the century old oak that stands there, some of its limbs newly mangled by a wind storm. Those limbs now keep our house warm, and perhaps it recognizes the partnership we have together. I stood up there for awhile, enjoying the view and the silence of the fog, the rose hips scattered behind me. I thought about how I had come here, an unknown to the state, the county, the people, but this one section of land just welcomed me that first day we looked at the property. I like to think it was a personal greeting specifically to me. All the houses I'd lived in and fixed up and nested in over my 30's and 40's, there was still a horizon out there that seemed a bit more enticing. There was always a sense in me the house I was in wasn't quite 'it'.

This small piece of our property always rekindles the small embers in my heart, reminding me in a very physical way, I am standing on 'it'.

19 comments:

Cary said...

How nice to be "there". I can't wait until I find that place... It truly sounds lovely.

Penelope Dullaghan said...

K: Loved this post... And I needed it. I have that feeling now. That feeling of "the house I was in wasn't quite 'it'", even though we just bought this new house and plan to live here for a few years. I hope I find my 'it', like you did, eventually.

I love that you are so clear.

Cathy said...

I have realized that my "it" is Apifera. Can I move into the guest room permanently?

Your posts about the goats always make me laugh!

Kathy said...

Love the picture of the barn. Your home sounds so warm and inviting.

farmlady said...

I have found "It" also. It's the place where your heart says "Here I will be forever"...., where your life has meaning and your soul feels it's found a home.

Apifera Farm said...

Now Cathy, you know we always have a name plate on the guest door for you [all new windows!] And Kathy, thanks for stopping again.

Miss P, Cary, I think finding 'it' comes with ...er let me sound old, age and wisdom. I guess for me maybe, it was just about really listening to what I truly wanted - which meant moving, and leaving the city and all that meant. But I also found a great partner, to collaborate with on this place. Anyway, sometimes I think 'it' is always where we are at the moment, and the real 'it' is when you find the shoreline, if you know what I mean.

Elizabeth said...

Love your barn photo. I have a weak spot for barns.
I don't think I have found my "it" house-wise but the location is right.

Mare said...

What a beautiful peaceful post...The house i live in and have lived in for over 20 years is as close to "it" as any house could come. It keeps us warm and sheltered, and i love it. But i always have that little sad feeling in the back of my mind somewhere that a farm is what i always wanted and yet is just not right for this lifetime. It was a dream of mine that still hasn't gone away, thru disabilities and hard years. This is why i appreciate reading your blog so much. In a little way, i am living a bit with you there on that hill, looking down at all that beauty.

Clare Carver said...

I loved my visit with you this morning... can't stay long gotta go do chores but that;s for the little slow down! clare

coloredsock said...

mmmm, lovely post miss shepherd girl. i have to say though that maybe finding 'it' isn't necessarily an age thing. wisdom, yes, and maybe simply clarity and timing. i feel like we are on our 'it' and have been now since i was 31. for us, although we loved the land, it wasn't always about the specific piece of land but more the spirit of this mountain and the 'nook'. and since we started caretaking for thes 3 acres and trees and birds and have grown food for a couple seasons and are developing the land now with all this in mind, it has become more 'it' than even at first. like we are starting something like those farmers did 100 years ago when they first built the barn you love so much now. and yes, i also agree about having the right partner to manifest 'it' with. it is because our visions are in sync and play off each other and the true collaborating, that it is happening for us.

i love when i know friends have their 'it' and i also love watching other friends find their 'it'. xoxo j

Apifera Farm said...

Hi again everyone- Clare, I'll writ soon - bless that pig!
Eliz- the location I thin is the main thing really...
Mare - Maybe that yearning is not the need to live on a farm, but to experience the farm? I had the farm thing in my heart since i was born, I was meant to experience the city, NYC, travel, and did, and loved it all, but always wanted the country life.
Jenny Henny- I think that's true, it's 'wisdom' rather than age. I guess for me I was not settled and grounded in my 30's or early 40's. I was happy and stable and all, but I just did not look at things in the same perspective as I do at 45-50. It's just different. Life becomes much more precious when everyone starts dying. While I knew life was precious my whole life, it's just different now. But yes, you can have 'it' at 30!I just wasn't ready for this kind of 'it' at 30. I have had people ask me, 'we want to live on a farm, but do you miss bookshops and cafes, nite life?" and my answe is 'no, but if you are asking the question, you probably won't like life on a rural farm.'

Also, I think working on a piece of land, no matter how small/big, and working on a house, creates a different relationship to it, versus just living in the city. That land work really soaks into the heart.

Deb said...

Although I havent found my "IT" address I have found my "it" profession in my lil primitive shop.

I have some distinct ideas on my own "it" address and am exploring them now, I too hope to find my spot someday soon, now that I am "older" and maybe just maybe a wee bit wiser! LOL

Apifera Farm said...

Hey Deb- love primitive...I think you have to have the 'it' job/life before you find the 'it' home, becuase if you aren't doing what your heart/skills/talent is, nothing is ever quite right.

blackfeatherfarm said...

I have found that feeling on my own small 7 acre farm, but if I could buy my{ idiot} neighbors out and add that 7 acres to mine, that would really be IT ! Great post *

Apifera Farm said...

We have one neibor property that sits on our property line and we too, in my dreams would buy him out. It's the one negative of our land. I'm slowly planting cedar trees to cover it up!

Egghead said...

I can feel what you must have been feeling just by reading your words. How lovely and I am so happy you have found that place. It truly sounds heavenly. Thank you for sharing.

Apifera Farm said...

Oh Miss Egghead, thank you for stopping by. I must go back and read your blog as you are in Sprinfield and a farmer woman too....we must have many things in common.

Juli said...

I think this is my new favorite photo of yours. :) Lovely.

Gail said...

I love your descriptions of the farm. It seems beautiful and peaceful. I can tell you have come home at last.

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Thank you for reading! The farm and my art/writing keep me hopping, so might not respond immediately. Thank you for understanding. ~Katherine & Apifera ~