Sunday, February 05, 2017
In the Wood, out in the light
The winter here has not been that hard on us, in fact, Oregon is having a harder time since even 1/4 inch of snows freaks everyone out and the roads come to a standstill pretty easily there. There is a difference here in that nobody complains about the weather that much, it is just weather. Much like Minnesota, or my days in upstate NY. I was taught as a child by a mother that lived in the furtherest north city in North Dakota,
"It's just weather, don't whine about it."
And I rarely do. So many other things to whine about it.
We are beginning to comprehend what we want to do to our acreage, and of course that will evolve too. We have lots of plans and ideas, dreams. Martyn has already begun to push the growth back from the existing pasture. We plan to create more open space on part of The Wood, a place that was obviously pasture at one time. It has some old growth apple trees, and is above the marsh and stream spots. I like it over there, it borders the Quaker cemetery.
Our little farm is very different here than in Oregon. I am adjusting to that. There are still days I have some pangs for 'what was', but...it's not necessarily the farm itself. It is something else and I haven't figured out the words to express that, and maybe I won't have to. We have been here eight months, that is not long at all. I remember how long it took in Oregon to feel rooted. And I'm not sure it has anything to do with being here, versus "there". I think it has more to do with the realization, the fact, that my decades on this earth are coming to an end. I'll be 59 in March. That's not old, but, a decade zips by. There is so much to do here, that we want to do, and it just feels different thinking ahead at 59 then it did at 42.
To be honest, I feel a bit fat, a bit old looking. I was pretty once, that was nice to experience. It means nothing to how you live your life, what kind of heart you have or what art you make. But, I can now say, I've entered that place where 'pretty' is not the word I would use to describe anything about my appearance. In fact I don't like looking at myself much. I think this might pass. I'm sort of in the 'between' stage of aging.
So walking in The Wood helps with anything. Touching old trees, hearing the stream under the ice, and Muddy was so happy to be with me.
In the meantime, while we gave up the Big Sky feel of the West, we have huge clouds that are closer to us here, and lots of days of beautiful sun and blue sky. The snow comes and goes, and it has been an easy winter so far as regards to snow. But of course that can change, but no matter, we are fine. And t was nice to look over to the new barn and see the flock, and the smoke coming from the house chimney.