We are a care farm. And I'm meant to be here.

We made a little cubby just for Sir Tripod Goat, a crippled Misfit

To anyone who is about to make a huge move or change, I am here to tell you,

"Wait, listen, ponder, it will be bumpy and windy but there are beautiful vistas that will give you clarity-in time."

I have had a nice shift in the past couple weeks. The weather is spring like now and that does add optimism to ones outlook. But it's other things too. I have come to the decision that I want to focus Apifera as a care farm-a place where animal, land and people come together for beneficial healing. For that reason, this upcoming mid May litter of Eleanor's will be the last. I might have to find a pair of chastity pants for Earnest, but we had this unplanned pregnancy because we had to put up all our fencing when we got here, and Marcella and Earnest-working together like stealth spies-figured out a way to bust into Eleanor's [and Cornelia's] boudoir.

I've loved having the piglets, but I want to focus on The Misfits and helping more animals that need a safe harbor, which is why I was so excited to hook up with the Maine State vet so they can come to us in need when neglect cases come up. Our setup here is different than in Oregon. We actually have more land but less of it is open field, and some is marsh. We had three large barns out West, now have two medium barns [an addition is being planned]. So every inch is crucial.

Anyway, it might seem like nothing has changed. But for me, just saying it out loud to some friends-"You know, I'm ready to move to the next stage and not raise piglets [we already decided not to do any more sheep breeding once here]," it just was such a turning point for me–a reckoning, really.

It is as if moving to Maine opened me up to be able to finally do that. The more intimate space and land here-it was there all along, waiting for me to figure it out,

"We can give her exactly what she needs as a care farm. She'll figure it out."

It's about focus.

And about culling. I had to cull parts of myself, as well as some things from the past.

And when I looked at the last 14 years of Apifera, I realized the thing I feel I am best at-is care taking creatures in need. I can honestly say I'm good at that.

I was driving to the store yesterday, feeling very light and airy even though it was foggy and rainy. I thought that this might be my last run at this-I am 59 and if I'm blessed with good health, and Martyn is too, and enough income to keep going-this might be the last ten or fifteen years of this for me. That's the same amount of time I was at the old Apifera. I thought, do I want to spend it continuing to do things that seem to be more of a weight on me, that take my energy away form holding an old goat, or write about why that old goat helps me, or another person?


Apifera is a care farm. And I am meant to be a care farmer.

{Fundraiser now going on to help the 2017 basic care of the Misfits}