Apifera Farm - where art, story, animals & woman merge. Home to artist Katherine Dunn

Apifera Farm is a registered 501 [c][3]. All images are ©Katherine Dunn.

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Healing my heart inside out

You can see many more felted creatures on the site.

The creatures that walk this farm each have a voice resonating in my head, and heart. While I consider myself a happy, grounded person, living out the dream of having landed in my own sense of place - Apifera - I have much melancholy that I felt into and out of these creatures. I do it for myself but also for them too. Just as I need them to share something of myself, to expunge sadness or spread a moment of joy's essence, they in turn need me to come to life and be the creature they are meant be.

The rage of one's teens and twenties that in my case was unbridled until I matured and found the outlet of working on my art consistently gave way to a more refined angst in my thirties and forties. Often this angst was entangled in the non committed male in my life, but I can say with clarity now that I was not in a place that allowed me to fulfill my potential as a person and artist and when an artist feels they aren't working to their potential, there is angst.

I am restless. August always makes me lazy, but also restless. I allow myself to indulge more in the land and farm projects such as remending fences for the tenth time that a 2 foot tall goat keeps mastering. But I am preparing myself to once again engage in my inner sanctum of creating.

These felted creatures are characters of my own inner village. They are initially inspired by an animal in the barnyard, but always end up meshing memories of human creatures long gone, or those that are lingering in their last days here on earth. In this way they are my healing creatures.


Cathy said...

Lovely, Katherine. Here's something that made me think of you: On Art and Memory

Katherine Dunn/Apifera Farm said...

From your link, Cathy - thank you for sharing this.

"You must be able to forget them when they are many, and you must have the immense patience to wait until they return. For the memoires themselves are not important. Only when they have changed into our very blood, into glance and gesture, and are nameless, no longer to be distinguished from ourselves that in some very rare hour the first word of a poem arises in their midst and goes forth from them." {Rilke]

This is how a great lake become a splotch of blue. How a childhood loss becomes a ringing bell. We must experience, grieve, forget, and then remember, but in this way memory like fossil fuels is experience transformed. [Mary Morris]

Jody said...

i know that you are tremendously BUSY, but you might like to read this - 'The Art of Racing in the Rain' by Garth Stein.

Katherine Dunn/Apifera Farm said...

I love the title. I will look this up- I'm working on some non-fiction writing currently and sometimes I avoid reading the same genre for fear it will soak into too much, but it sounds good. Oddly, I just finished a sentence in my work about rain on tin roof!

Jonna said...

Dear Katherine

My heart goes out to your heart and to the healing that is taking place. You are so blessed to have Apifera, and the love of a good man and the animals and that reflects the good in you.
Much healing has taken place already.
And you are such an inspiration too don't lose sight of that. I have just borrowed your Creative Illustration Workshop again from my local library here in the UK and it is lovely. Such lovely words and images.
Whatever you do keep going. And have a word with that goat!
Thank you for your sharing and for the courage you show in doing so.

Love from Jonna

Katherine Dunn/Apifera Farm said...

Thank you J, that is very thoughtful comment and thank you for the 'keep going' comment too!

Delisa said...

Hi Katherine, I so enjoyed your post today and hearing about the emotions that go into your characters and art. August is also a restless time for me as well. Since I was a little girl, September, Autumn and the new school year has always felt like a time of new beginnings for me and August was always hard to fully enjoy. Kind of like a Sunday evening before a busy work week. I love your felted creatures and I am so glad that they have such depth and feelings of healing. Have a wonderful week ahead. Delisa :)

Tracie Lyn Huskamp said...

Katherine... such a poignant post that resonates deeply... I, too, felt the angst of finding myself in art, which did not occur until my late twenties and early thirties.

August does have that lazy, yet restless feel. I am ready be inspired by for autumn and the cooler and colorful last hooray of a summer filled with relentless heat.

Missing You and Apifera!

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Thank you for reading! The farm and my art/writing keep me hopping, so might not respond immediately. Thank you for understanding. ~Katherine & Apifera ~