Apifera Farm - where art, story, animals & woman merge. Home to artist Katherine Dunn

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©Katherine Dunn.

Monday, August 19, 2019

"What am I doing?" I asked Birdie.

Please meet Harry. He is coming to live with Arlo soon. Harry has a fabulous hairdresser, for sure.

But it took a winding path to get to Harry. I was a bit....well, read on....

So, as you know if you follow along, it has been a whirlwind llama year for us. We struggled and tried to save Birdie for months, but lost her in April. I vowed to Birdie On, and we have. The plan was to bring home Arlo along with old Luna, and then from the same person there was old Lucy who had been bred even at this older age and we were to take on Lucy with her baby cria. The baby, Button, died at one month right before we were to pick them both up. But we agreed to help out and take on Lucy so Luna would have a friend, which was always the plan. The two old girls could live month or a couple years, but they are old.

SO then, since Button died, I had picked out a young female, and a young male for Arlo. These would have been costs out of my pocket, since they were not animals in need but I wanted to Birdie On.

My stomach told me, as did my heart, and my wallet, that perhaps this was all too much, and it was unecessary. After all, I was working well with Arlo, the old girls were settled, and if I brought home two more youngsters especially another male, well that was a lot of training to do.

"What am I doing?" I asked Birdie.

And then I remembered Harry. I had seen Harry back in spring when I found Arlo and liked him but decided I should get a young male to train. But now, I think Harry and his disposition will be not only a good friend and herd teacher for Arlo, but he might rise to the therapy llama category.

I guess this might all sound nuts. I had told Birdie last spring to help me find the right llamas [not easy in Maine, there are no llama breeders here] and I believed the original youngsters I picked out were the right choices. How could I go against Birdie, I thought. But then I realized Birdie has been helping all along, she just knew I needed to walk through this or fumble through it, in my way and that in some way I was trying to actually FIND HER.

Birdie was gone. I had to try to find her again, somewhere, but I couldn't, of course, but I had to try. And my gut told me to stop, my heart told me to embrace Arlo, and now Harry. And that will be plenty of llama love to go around, with Birdie popping in on clouds when I need her.