Apifera Farm - where art, story, animals & woman merge. Home to artist Katherine Dunn

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©Katherine Dunn.

Saturday, October 16, 2021

Are you shifting?

 I feel like I am in a shifting period but I can't explain to my conscious self what that shift is. I feel unsettled. I think part of it is I have put my heart and soul into the non profit and I feel out of balance with my art and studio time, and 'me' time. I love my non profit work and it does combine creativity and my soul and spirit so is creative in its own way.

But I've been having trouble for a long time now carving out time for art, and with art, for me anyway, I need chuncks of time to ponder, explore in my head with out thinking of everything else I have to do.

I feel I'm shifting into my art raggedy dolls too, frustratingly. I say frustratingly because they take a lot longer to birth than a painting. I am also limited in certain skills like using methods to make them stand as I want and I fumble along.

Then again, I have written and created four more illustrated books since arriving in Maine and I seem to forget that.


Anyway, autumn is full on now, it's pouring out today and I love it. I am determined to keep my November through April more open for me and the studio. I will not abandon my elders at Cove's Edge but am going to focus on them as far as elder visits. I also take care of the business side of things here, completely–the books, taxes, bills, truck and tractor work, repair scheduling, groceries, feed stores, vets, furnace and fireplace, doctor appointments. It's amazing how much time is eaten away with that. I think of my mother-and all mothers-who had kids to haul around and how they said their day felt like it was in a car. Mine is often at the computer.

Anyway, the shifting thing. I think in my life there are clear, distinct shifts that have happened. They seem to happen overnight but I think I  gather information in my head for months, years even, and then one day wake up and say to myself, "I'm moving to Maine," or "I'm going to make books now." And I feel my spirit guides want me to shift, but I keep false starting into it. Maybe I'm afraid of losing what I have. But if I look back on any shift I've made, it always brought more abundance into my life.

Or maybe I just need more cat naps, something I've started on a rather regular basis.


The Bodhi Chicklet said...

Oh yes, I feel a shift hovering. I’m needing to leave behind a big thing that has lots of other more esoteric things attached to it.

Terra said...

You are doing A LOT of work with your dear elders. I hope you manage to find more time to incubate and create the art you want to do. Keep up those cat naps.

Carol Kitchell said...

For sure, I'm shifting - seismic upheavals of life circumstances, of spirit, of direction. A lot of this feeling unmoored is entwined with loss and grief. Some, I can't parse out. I normally retreat November through April - an incubation time. It's practical for me, but I like to think there's a mythic sense of entering the quiet underworld to see what can begin to grow and emerge in the light of Spring. Like you, I'm hoping to be in the creative space I've missed and need. But there has to be an intentionality to it. Show up, make our art, believe creating is vital to our well-being.

Katherine Dunn/Apifera Farm said...

I like this Carol : "there's a mythic sense of entering the quiet underworld to see what can begin to grow and emerge"

susan farrington said...

Hi Katherine- Yes, I'm shifting too. Life changes and shifts in what I want to be doing as well as responsibility changes and adapting to those.
I'm am in awe of the amount of care and work you do along with finding time to create. Cat naps are very, very important. We are animals too and are not meant to be go, go, going all the time. Be gentle with yourself and embrace doing what you need to do and what you want to do.

Katherine Dunn/Apifera Farm said...

thanks tow everyone for reading, and sharing [an not giving advice, just sharing!] PArt of it right now for me is I am so enjoying just BEING...being in nature, or amongst animals, or putting up a fence, or doing what I want, or sitting with Martyn at night...as a freelancer, I put many hours in and glad I didit built what I have now on my art site and makes a living my way. I see so many start out and they want it all right away, they want weekends off right away...anyway....I used to keep track of how many paintings I did a year! I mean, at this stage that is less important, but in the beginning I think it was, it helped motivate me. Now my motivation to create is much different, as I am not an illustrator for others.

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Thank you for reading! The farm and my art/writing keep me hopping, so might not respond immediately. Thank you for understanding. ~Katherine & Apifera ~