Tuesday, August 05, 2008
I am starting a new series of personal pieces. These are coming to me as I go to sleep, or when I wake up, I lie in bed and think in sort of a mantra in my head, "What is it, what is it" and certain things come to me...slowly." It's hard to explain. I'm liking the illustration portfolio pieces because it is so clear what I am painting - and illustration is a nice balance to doing these personal paintings. It's a relief to try to paint a Madame Butterfly after sitting and wondering, 'Why is there something compelling me to have a tree trunk in this painting?"
Maybe answers aren't necessary.
But I do sense there are many things out there lately, that are there for me. Thins helping me in invisible ways. One person recently commented that all my recent work has a veil of sadness and it 'must be about your father's death."...Ummm, well, not really. While I do think of my father many times of each day, they are tiny seconds, of memories of him that come at odd times - his death is not anything I am trying to figure out. I think my work has always had a tinge of sadness though, I do see that. But I just feel that's because I am very aware how fast it goes by, or that it will go by. While my father's passing has highlighted many things, it is perhaps the realization that life is here now. I feel very fortunate to have grown up in a normal family with love and consistent guidance. While we certainly had our family dynamics, we are basically a grounded group with a maintainable amount of quirks. To my knowledge, we're not bothering anybody.
I'm pretty sure there is somebody out there though.