I turned 63 yesterday. I have t say it was a really special day. I awoke to the smell of bacon and found that Martyn had made me a piece of bacon and cut it into pieces and shaped it like a heart. I found this so simple and sweet. Best birthday card ever.
The progressed, beautiful weather, took a long walk with Bear, heard from old friends...and then at 11 my elder friends from Cove's Edge had planned a special birthday Facetime with me. I knew they had something up their sleeves, and they did. They all had on Harry shirts! But it gets better, the shirts were actually sent to them as a surprise by one of my many loyal and kind followers. I was so touched. It really made my day. They are like family to me now. It takes a lot of effort for my contact their to gather them all and get the computer set up right too, so I just love it.
We are trying to get vaccinated, that would have been the final gift, but it will happen as more vaccines are made available. They say it was one year ago we went into lock down. We are moving forward, I have hope for the first time in many months.
If you are lucky enough to have a roof over your head, health, and an income, and love, aging is freeing to the mind, at least it is for me. But I have my health. I think working with the elders, seeing how some people end up in the final years, it makes me appreciate each day of freedom even more. I saw an article recently about how more and more people are living to 100. I have absolutely no desire to live to 100, or even 90. I just don't. I am finding that the internal 'shoulds' we taunt ourselves with in our younger years [i.e. I should do more art today, I should lose 5 pounds, I should this and that] are dissipating. It doesn't mean I am not vibrant, curious or ready to take on new things, it simply means I set my pace and don't get riled about what you or others thinks or want. I always did, but I'd drop everything to take on an illustration project that was strictly for money. I don't have to do that now. I still work hard and get my deadlines met, but it is less hectic. I've worked hard to get to this point-25 years of learning curves and lng hours. I still have to make money but we spend wisely allowing us to live in this little house and live comfortably.
But I was thinking about the number thing. We get all consumed with the number on the scale, the number of steps, the number on the birthday...all the ramifications of those numbers are really set by others. Take weight...I have always been more than the range they drum into your head [especially as girls and women]...always. I gained weight after menapause, about 15 pounds, and then another 5. I took 14 off, and gained 4 this winter. So now I'm even more over the weight guides. But I read this great article the other day about instead of counting calories or points, just learn to listen to your body. If you eeat natural foods, your body will tell you what it wants. If you eat sugars and processed foods your body will crave them. I find this to be true. And the point of the article is, so what if you eat naturally, and not manically, but eat when your body tells you to eat...who says that number on the scale is not right for you.
It was sort of freeing for me. Working with the elders, I know what is important than my slight weight gain and larger girth...it is that I can walk, bend, dance, move, ride my horse, and be independent. That is the focus of each day now. Each day is a launching pad to be free, do what I love doing, give back to my animals and elders, make art or write. it has nothing to do with my age or the number on the scale or the number some group of doctors on a web site say I should be.
