Apifera Farm - where art, story, animals & woman merge. Home to artist Katherine Dunn

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©Katherine Dunn.

Saturday, April 07, 2018

Touch someone, really touch them

Touch is important to all of us. I had times in my life when I was without touch...and I am not talking about sex, I'm referring to the simple touch of another's hand on my arm...and times without that kind of intimacy are hurtful to the soul, I think.

I remember once sitting in my mother's couch with her, I was probably in my early forties, and she reached over and stroked my hair. I remember thinking how good it made me feel, and how little in some ways, and I suppose for her it made her feel like a mother, a caretaker thinking,

How did she grow up so fast?

Once I was in a church, I am not religious, though love the gathering of a church, the pomp of it at times, the chorus, the cathedral setting, the light. I was there because I had recently been dumped by the guy I really wanted to marry. I'm now grateful he dumped me, my wings were always clipped when we were together, he was raised in a strict reformed religion. But I was there because it was Sunday and I usually was with him, so I got myself out of bed and dragged myself to church. I sat in a pew next to an older woman, in her 70's or older. And then I started to cough, something was in my throat. I tried to contain it. She reached over to me, gently touched my hand, and gave me a cough drop, and smiled. Because I was in such a raw state, her touch meant so much to me,

She cared enough to touch me, I thought.

I've never forgotten that simple act.

I touch the animals all the time of course. Sometimes we sit quietly, like here with old Sophie, and I stroke them. I know how it makes me feel when someone I love and feel safe with stokes my face, even one time.

Go touch someone today, just a light tap on their arm, to say,

Hello, I see you, I know how life is.