Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Not to be taken lightly
After living on the farm for ten years now, I could easily, I suppose, fall into the trap of being jaded. I can honestly tell you - while I have moments of self doubt, frustration, exhaustion, feeling not up to a task, afraid I said something wrong or not well enough for those who create their own persona of me, grieving, feeling puffy and fat - I always have moments strung through each day that bring me back to the Earth ship, down to where I am meant to be, right now.
I worked with an energy healer years ago, back in Minneapolis when I was yearning for a mate, had lost the mate I thought I was supposed to have and my stubborn conscious just would not let go [note to all reading who are hanging on to someone who left - let go, it will simply get you to the next shore sooner]. So in working with this healer I learned to recognize how I often float away, just drift up and out and all over the place. It is something I remember doing very early on, when I was no more than four. I would especially float off if I was in the back seat of a car, or in the bath tub. And I loved it. I could make myself do it. I never told anyone about it, until I met this healer later in my life.
Now before you jump to conclusions, I was not abused or living in a bad place or anything. I just liked it - it was much safer there - safer from me and all my little fears and flaws. It was also felt intense.
In working with the healer I was given techniques to keep me grounded. Not that there was anything wrong with floating - I can still do it on a whim, anywhere, any time, alone or in company - but I learned that I am here for the living, for this realm and this earthly place. If I do float, I was encouraged to do something helpful with it, something courageous and perhaps something that brought light on a problem or another's situation. I believe when i paint i am floating - usually. I need to stay connected here - there will be plenty of time later to float. One of the simple things I learned was to touch the Earth, to touch my skin, the ground, anything here on Earth if I needed to come back.
It was pointed out that gardening was good for us floaters. And then I got my farm. And animals. So much of my day is spent in tactile connection with Earth and creature. Be it helping a lamb be born, or burying the dead or cleaning the blood off the cement from harvest day...it keeps me here. This is where I need to be now.
When I see the faces you see here in the photos - I often just stop, look, and move on. But it is visceral connection.