Samuelle's final Sunday

Huck once again acts as hospice assistant with me while Samuelle Noel lays in his basket.

Samuelle sits as I type in his basket, Huck nearby in case he is needed. We listened to Garrison Keillor this afternoon and he had a poem in honor of their family cat who had died, and he also sang lovely little songs to the departed cat. Coincidence? No, it was a lovely tribute to Sam to. I couldn't have done it better than Garrison.

He and I have fought a hard battle. What a soldier he has been-over the years fighting off so many chronic issues- from deteriorating foot pads to respiratory infections. When I took him to the vet last Wednesday, I was hopeful, I felt we could do more. His attitude was of a cat that was willing and ready to keep living. But we know more now, even though we still have the lab tests. We know his upper mouth was raw to the bone-so we took lab test for fungal and bacteria so we could be sure to have the right meds for one, the other, or both.

But once he started swelling at the eye [the red you see in the right eye is actually his inner eyelid that has been pushed upward due to swelling] we began to sense we might be facing more than an infection. When I left him at the vet's for xrays and care, I assumed I'd bring him home in a day. But Sam had a seizure on Friday morning. Because my vets know me and what I do here, they felt okay about me bringing him home to Apifera Friday night. I wanted to be there for him if he seizured again, since the clinic isn't staffed after hours like most day clinics. The thought of him alone in a crate and going into another seizure and maybe dieing alone, I felt he deserved more from me. But I questioned myself and the vet-maybe he'd want to be alone.

It is a fine line we walk with these stray cats and Misfits in need. What is best for the animal, at that moment? That is what I always ask myself, and the vet, and try to push away the human emotion. Animals react differently to illness and trauma. For Samuelle, if he was in the barn, he'd probably go hide away in the woods until it was all over. He's been in the house now since his illness returned this past January because he was a sitting duck for a raccoon-you could hear him a mile away with his breathing-and while I always was extra fond of him in the barnyard, once you bring an animal in and care take it, the relationship shifts yet again. For the few who have met Sam, they know what a sweet cat he is, a very affectionate fellow who talks in short sentences, and I've become very attached to him. I will be sad to see him go on. But he has had a good life here, one that might have been much shorter had he not walked onto the farm that Christmas in 2009.

So I brought him home on Friday and by Saturday morning I still had hope for him. He ate for me from a tube, took his meds well and still acted like he was present. He was trying. But he was also acting a bit damaged, as in neurologically. The vet and I began to discuss the possibility that he had a tumor or something pressing in his head that was causing some of these symptoms-like walking like he had stroked, sitting in corners in a daze, acting like he just wasn't brain right.

I now know I did the right thing bringing him home. He seizured again this morning. I had him in a crate last night for his own safety, and was able to hold him and be there for him. It subsided, but I knew this is the middle of the end. If he should make it through the night, I have no doubt the right thing is to help him on is way tomorrow at the vet. For now, I have very strong pain meds for him and he is basically in a state of constant nap. When he does arouse a bit, it is temporary, and he really can't walk right.

I want to thank so many who have bought art at the sale, or donated, and keep buying as there are plenty of vet bills to come this week with Pino and others. I was okay spending that $870 because he deserved one more chance and we just weren't sure what we were dealing with any more-we all wanted to get closer to an answer that might have helped him. I would not have done it differently-it is not wasted money in my mind. Sometimes you just don't get an answer, and you are left with knowing you did your best and so did the animal.

Many of the Misfits are aging, and the original semi feral colony of 25 that we inherited in one way or another when we moved in is shrinking. Apifera is shifting too, so am I. I'll just wait it out and keep doing what I do. I'll keep doing my best.

Samulle Noel: Emergency $800+ fund!

I hope for some support for this huge vet bill to help Samuelle. We are at $800 but that number will rise once we know what meds are needed. His daily care is $70 a day right now at the vet. I've set up an art sale, or you can donate here at the blog.

Update: Sadly, we had to let Samuelle go. In the end we determined cancer was killing him and eating away at his mouth. I was with him all through it and so miss him in the house, but so glad he is not suffering. The art sale stays up.

When it rains it pours.

Samuelle Noel needed emergency treatment yesterday and is still at the clinic, with the current lab bill at $800. That won't count the meds needed once we hear results. It's costing me $70 a day to keep him there at this stage, but he deserves it. He and I have been battling his conditions since 2009, and he deserves this. I'm very bonded with him by now-he is a super sweet guy and I always felt he was dumped by someone, but we just don't know.

Sammy last took a real dive in January with a chronic nasal infection which we treated aggressively with fluid drips and meds. He recovered a lot of weight back then, but his nasal or bronchial issues never fully recovered, but were good enough to keep him from more vet work.

This past week, everything went haywire. His right eye suddenly swelled up, worsening each day and obviously painful. I made an appointment for the next appointment with my regular cat vet. By then he had developed bad breath I assumed could be bad teeth but couldn't really see any. He also was acting weird when he did try to eat. I could tell he was uncomfortable.

At the vets, we were able to really get his mouth open wide and discovered the rot smell was because the roof of his mouth was raw to the bone in some areas. He had lost significant weight. The poor chap. Such pain it must be, no wonder he couldn't eat well.

The reason the lab bill is so high is we have been treating for bacterial but now are trying to see if it could be fungal too [hence the mouth sore] and also rule out cancer of any kind.

This is a lot of money to spend on a stray barn cat that wandered into Apifera some years ago - when we did his neutering the vet found a bone lodged in his mouth. We aren't sure if that is connected. At any point we won't know results until next week and in the meantime I need to make some money! These test have to be done. Sadly, in the end he might not make it, or might have something we can't treat, but the tests will help rule out something and help us target the treatments.

We've incurred a lot of vet bills in the past week with routine maintenance on the the elders for shots/vet visits, the farrier work for the old ponies, llama, Matilda. And now Samuelle. Then there is Pino's surgery next week-Pino is not technically a Misfit, and I would never ask people to donate to his surgery. But I can ask you to buy art at the art sale, buy books at gift levels, or buy books at the regular price.

How you can help:

1] Buy art at the sale
Full of inexpensive sketches and whim. I hope to add more to it - but for now there are some 60+ items there.

2] Make a donation of any size here at the blog.

3] It is also possible for you to call the vet directly and leave money in my account with a credit card specifically for Samuelle Noel. Email me if you like that option.

Thank you. In whatever way you can help-money wise or with emotional support. Life is full!

Samuelle's sick room

Monday Update: Thanks for all the good wishes for Samuelle! He is still on meds, ringers [a fluid/electrolyte I give every 12 hours under his skin with a drip line] and force feeds, but his attitude is good and he is getting better-slowly. Still residing in his private suite in the house complete with steam room effects.

Samuelle spent the night in our bedroom bathroom, had a spa treatment of a steamy room to help the congestion. He's still not eating on his own so is being force fed. If he doesn't eat by Monday I'm afraid I'll have to start the electrolyte drip bag each day. He is getting liquid in his medicated food I drench him with, so hoping we can maintain his weight.

Poor fellow. He lifts his head up to alleviate his very stuffy nose, but the drops are helping. I hate to have him away from his barn mate Hazel, but the nights are chilly and I think at least one more night in the bath will help him. Last time he pulled through in the barn in a crate, but he's getting the royal treatment this time.

Thank you for those of you who have emailed support. Starting out the year with vet costs is par for the course-but your support is a counterbalance. I am so grateful I can do this.

I was thinking today how I really just enjoy tending a sick animal. I don't know what this is or where it comes from. It is rewarding to see them improve, and it also brings a new dimension to my relationship with them. I have tended animals that were inattentive, and after healing they realize I'm not so bad after all–they begin to transform how they interact with me, the human. I become an ally. Samuelle really likes being nursed, which makes a huge difference, especially with a cat. Having ended up in the ER while tending other cats in the past, I can tell you it is so much easier with a mellow dude like Sam. He hates the drops, but allows them without much claws in my hand defense.

Please remember your donations will also be reciprocated with either Misfit book or the farm's lavender-you can also opt not to get a gift, and recurring donations lasting a year are also available [and you'll get a book then too].