Apifera Farm - where art, story, animals & woman merge. Home to artist Katherine Dunn

Apifera Farm is a registered 501 [c][3]. All images are ©Katherine Dunn.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Life with a goat 101

Buy a whole bunch of pasture fence. Make sure it's 5' tall or higher. Spend your whole weekend getting it up. Run electric wire on the top of the fence and the bottom of the fence.

Put goat in the fenced pasture. Explain to her that this is her side, and over there, that is your side. Explain to her that her side has electrical currents.

You are now tired. Get a lawn chair. Make a good sandwich, preferably with home grown tomatoes and good bread.

Refrain from alcohol at this stage. Sit in your lawn chair and enjoy your sandwich.
As you chew, notice the goat roaming in the nicely fenced pasture you made just for her. Call out to her,"Hello Stella! I see you!" Enjoy the sweet sounds of the goat calling back to you in goat bleeps. I will translate: "Hello! I see you too! What are you eating? You are so close, I can smell the bread! I love bread. Must have bread. I'll be right there! OH! Ouch! electric current, no problem, it's over now. There, here I am, I will join you and your sandwich."

Say nice things to the goat, then lead her back to the pasture with a bit of the bread. Ask her if she learned that touching the electric fence has consequences.
Return to your lawn chair. Notice now there are foot steps behind you. "Hello! I'm right here with you again!"

Try to refrain from yelling. Take your half eaten sandwich, forget about the lawn chair, and walk back to the goat pasture with your goat. Find a good rock to sit on. Sit and share the rest of your sandwich with your goat.


Debbie said...

Conversations with Stella. She has no fear and a huge desire for good food. I know this must be rather frustrating, but it makes a very amusing story.
Thanks of the stories. I look forward to reading about life on Apifera Farm.

Amy Schimler-Safford said...

Oh Katherine, that is such a sweet little story, and you tell it so well! I love the photos too, what a cutie.

I also am really completely enjoying your apron wearers for Obama link.

Your blog always makes me smile:)

farmlady said...

You and I must have been on the same wave length today..., or maybe living with goats is a shared cosmic experience. Please, when you have a few minutes, read my post for today.
And tell Stella to be careful.

Cathy said...

Thanks, dearie, I just sprayed coffee all over my keyboard.

susanna said...

Awww...Stella is a sweetie! Look at those Betty Davis eyes in the second photo... This post has me smiling tonight. Thank you.

Bruce Anderson said...

she's very crafty!

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Thank you for reading! The farm and my art/writing keep me hopping, so might not respond immediately. Thank you for understanding. ~Katherine & Apifera ~