It feels softer.
This really resonated with me and how I feel things unfolding here. I knew there were many lessons to our move and that I would also come to understand many deeper reasons than I can even understand right now as to why I felt propelled to uproot ourselves and our animals from a place we loved to move across the country. And one of the reasons is just what my friend said,
It is softer here.
Not only is the landscape smoother - I mean smoother in how it makes me feel- it has me acting more smoothly.
Perhaps, I thought as I was doing the usual feedings and chores this week, it is simply that I'm becoming slightly smoother as I age. But it is more than that. I clearly needed a change, a big change, not only to my environment, climate, and address but also to the extremeness of my daily life. The weather in Oregon had become to feel extreme to me as had some of my animal duties. I felt disconnected to people in a community sense. I felt unrooted to the community. I feel more connected here, as I did in Minneapolis, even though I've been here less than a month. {This is not to say I don't love the friends I left behind, please understand that if you are one of them.}
As we live amongst boxes, rooms that need to be painted, and areas of the house that seek my attention for simple needs-such as a real waste basket in the bathroom instead of a paper bag, I have noticed that I am being remarkably patient [for me]. Patience is not my strong suit. But it is something I am leaning into lately. I learned so much from the near debacle of almost leaving my beloved farm and sheep in the hands of the wrong person-all because I got my wires inside crossed, propelled by my desire to get to Maine fast-that experience is like a canvas I have hung in my memory to remind me to slow down a bit...and listen not only to me, but to muses, elders, guides and earth.
I am here for many reasons. Some of those reasons I know. Others will become clearer as we evolve here, and Apifera herself evolves.
But I do think Apifera is softer. She needed to be to move on to her next chapter.
