Apifera Farm - where art, story, animals & woman merge. Home to artist Katherine Dunn

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©Katherine Dunn.

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Faceless shame or fading away?

This morning I woke up with an image that would not go away, a woman sitting with her hands folded on a desk in a dark room, with one window giving a streak of light, but her face was completely washed over without features.

It kept coming back to me and I thought when I get to the studio I need to do a quick sketch.

I went about the morning chores, took a ride on Boone and the image kept coming back to me so it must be important, or perhaps it is someone trying to tell me something. I suppose we could all play psychologist on this. At first I thought it was me, the one who identifies herself with this place and time, fading out.

Then I wondered if it has to do with me feeling invisible to certain people, especially after a recent business encounter where I voiced my opinion and frustration with the other person's lack of communication– that lacking led to misunderstandings and complications for me. But after I voiced that opinion, I sensed a lack of respect from the other party, and their apology felt hollow to me.

I think even when you are not afraid to voice an opinion as a woman, especially in uncomfortable situations, we are prone to feel shame, still in this day and age. Hillary Clinton is accused of 'shouting', Bernie Sanders is not. Seems kind of backwards to me.

Anyway, I felt compelled to sketch it. Maybe it will return tonight or when I wake up tomorrow.


Jacquie said...

You're right about that. A woman has to craft her voice so it doesn't sound. No forgiveness there. Even from ourselves.

Anonymous said...

I am rather amazed that you are able to keep the "imagery channel" open with all that you've got going on with the property and the move, Katherine. But then you do seem to have had a lot of practice! It's a powerful image...to me it looks like "waiting"...to see what the future will bring, perhaps to see who you will be *then,* being so strongly identified in people's minds (and perhaps your own) with Apifera as it has been. Abraham Lincoln got it right, "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at time." Hard to remember sometimes in rush of life going' by... This image looks to me like some part of you is quietly, patiently preparing a place for the future *you.* ♡

Katherine Dunn/Apifera Farm said...

I am pretty distracted! Having trouble following through on ideas but, Martyn reminded me this is a project in and of itself. I went through this when I moved to this farm too, creatively. I like that Lincoln quote. I would say it is such a mixed bag of emotions and day by day, it feels like this place is letting go, just as I am. It's weird.

Anonymous said...

I like faceless images, they leave so much room for a person to imagine what it taking place. I think you are right about assertiveness and communication as a woman, and nothing is worse than feeling invisible somehow. Your image is so visible to me, maybe it's the uncomfortableness you have captured here. xox

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Thank you for reading! The farm and my art/writing keep me hopping, so might not respond immediately. Thank you for understanding. ~Katherine & Apifera ~