Good evening

One of the nicest things I get to do here on the farm is sit at the end of a hot day and look out at this. One hand is petting a cat in my lap, the other is holding a glass of wine. I can hear the snorkels of the one eyed pug behind me on the deck, and the panting of Huck.


The lord of the manor house sits beside me, dressed in Apifera Farm attire. This time of year we watch the mating couples who have flown in, like the Western Tanager - spectacular! We revel at the cedar siding we just put on the pump house, and discuss the many ideas for other little projects. We share our day with each other, and 95% of the time are at peace. Each day, something happens in the garden bed in front of us, and we enjoy pointing them out to each other.

These simple things happen every day in my life and marriage.

I do not have to go
To sacred places in far off lands.
The ground I stand on is holy.

Here in this little garden I tend
My pilgrimage ends.
The wild honeybees
The hummingbird moths
Are a microcosm of the earth.
Each seed that grows is full of miracles.

And I toil and sweat and watch and wonder
And am full of love
Living in place
In this place.
For truth and beauty dwell here.
[Mary de La Valette]

Another apron from afar!

Friederike!, Pino's true blue friend in Germany is sending us this FABULOUS apron for Pino Pie day. If you haven't gone to her blog, you must. Her master artist, Sandra Monat, makes wonderful softie dolls and magical creations. We are lucky to have one of her charming Viking dolls on our guest bed to protect visitors that sleep there [and me when I sneak in their to have a 'girl alone night'].

I am so excited, Pino can't wait to show it to Rosemary the head ewe. We told Sandra the ewes will be so envious. Don't you love the greens in the photo? We adore blue sheep! and the goodies she surprises us with - like the donkey cookie cutters she sent. I use the cookie cutter all the time to cut out donkeys in the pie crust.

Thank you, Sandra and Friederike. The Pino Pie Day is going to be so fun. We only wish our German friends could be there - but they will be in our hearts!

The cat that became an elephant

The transformation of any creation is the fuel for keeping magic in one's day. Like all my rag dolls, I can't seem to work from any set plan, but this is the signature of all my work really.

So, I set out to make a cat, but it turned into this little elephant. Ella Elephant likes to wear short dresses but no pants. This helps her go swimming like elephants like. She wears a pink ribbon to attract boy elephants. Her little tail is the sweetest little tail imaginable!

Ella Elephant is a one of a kind creatures, full of personality, and like any creature, can not be duplicated. I am working on other felted creatures, and want to do some 3D sets to place them in, like mini theater stories. It's still in my head.
It will most likely be a gigantic 3D mess, much like my monkey houses of past, but I will forge ahead with hammer, saw and nails. Martyn will cringe and step in. Soon perhaps he will build me a stage of some kind for theatrical performances with felt puppets and guest appearances from Phinias T. Barnum and others. [I have convinced him to make a special magic door to the "Pino's Pie Place" where the donkeys will be for the June 28th Pie Day].

Lady's lament

Backwards or not...

I am working on a new children's story. This time I am trying something a bit different. I worked on the illustrations as a whole before I even began writing the copy.

When I was working on my new felted dolls [to appear later] the feeling of the character started coming out of the doll. And as I felted away, I was telling stories in my head about the doll. So it gave me the notion that perhaps I should try creating a visual storyline first, and create the words around that. In my last stories I wrote all the copy first.

So far, I've done all the first draft b/w visual spreads. I had the story idea in my head before starting, but really let the art help me develop the details of the story/plot. I'm finding it is helping me not rush as much, and I feel like I am taking more time to try and develop the characters.

The main character is an artist donkey that leaves the city life for country life, and the challenge she faces as an outsider, and as being seen as a bit 'strange' to the country folk. The other main character is an old mouse who acts as her friend and mentor.

It's a completely true story.

Natural tendencies

The May madness of planting the vegetable garden and prepping the perennial beds for summer have been in full swing. Basically I am 5 inches shorter, from bending over so much. But at least I can still bend. I do often require two hands to get back up. Not too pretty from the rear, I guess. I definitely notice my body reacting differently to manual labor, no matter how enjoyable. I just can't handle intense manual labor like we did our first couple years here. I actually was so stiff last week that I convinced myself I had some strange joint disease. When we were really little, my brother used to warn me I'd get worms someday from giving dogs kisses on the mouth. I scoffed. Perhaps that scoffing has come back to haunt my joints.

I did this piece a couple years ago, and many of the pieces from then had a kneeling woman, all bent up. I was tired - hanging on to a plant to try and get back up on my two feet.

I don't read blogs daily, but lately many I visit are taking hiatus for one reason or another, some really seeming in angst over it.To me, it seems the bodies natural tendency is to want to be outside in the days of warm weather. The desire to switch from creating on a canvas, versus creating with mud and dirt and seed seems perfectly acceptable and logical. Our ancestors probably busted out of caves on a spring day - perhaps the cave paintings were only done in the winter.

Business is slow. I always stress the first of the month if jobs aren't coming in or things aren't selling. But at a certain point, I have to remember I got here from art, I am allowed to stay here through art - so why do I think after 10+ years the universe would kick me out of this place due to a lack of art? So, I continue to work, and each day let the powers to be work behind the scenes... "Hmmm, let's let her work in the fields and play with the horse for a good month, and then let's give her that huge illustration job..." . That might sound egotistical, but I just have to believe in slow times that I am not always the one to be privy as to what the heck is really going on.

It's National Wear Your Apron Day!

I've spent a good part of the morning trying to get Pino's apron on him, but alas, it's spring, there's grass, there's dust to roll in, and he is out doing his thing like a donkey should be.

I don't know where I heard about National Wear Your Apron Day, to be honest, or who started it, so forgive me for lack of details. I just know it's a day to celebrate the apron, by wearing it with glee. All the handy things about an apron - I can attest to here in my own life. I gather eggs in the pockets, I wipe my dirty garden hands all over the front to spare my already dirty pants, why just this week I wiped goop out of cat eye with my apron. Very handy in deed. And, as I've stated many a time, aprons help cover my somewhat expanded waistline. It's a wonderful way to feel like I'm wearing a dress when a dress just isn't always practical. Don't want to bending over in the barnyard in a dress, ladies!

So that I am. I'm attempting to document all the aprons I ham collecting for Pino's Pie Day Apron Clothesline...It's quite an amusing way to spend time. How lucky I am, yes?

We're thrilled with the generosity of people. And we hope all these efforts will help bring awareness to caregivers who want to share donkey therapy, and farm therapy, with their patients and friends in need.

For the mothers...

Gallery Event

I'm participating in a group show at Mary Lou Zeek Gallery in Salem. The show promotes biking as an alternative form of transportation, as well as a way to see nature, get out and exercise, and just enjoy the qualities of biking. The opening is Wednesday, May 7th.

My piece is called "Bird Bike" and can be purchased through the gallery. I bought a bike back in Minneapolis and named her Bella, as she was taking me places of beauty I wouldn't have seen without a bike. One is as close to flying while on a bike I think.

Bella has been hanging, dust and cobweb covered, in the barn for 4 years. I'm going to clean her up and take her out again. Maybe get a basket and deliver eggs on occasion. It would do me good, and I think she deserves to full fill her purpose again - to help me fly.

Yes

Ladies and Gentleman, presenting...

There is a crow that lives near our farm. I see him flying from the place in the sky where the main county road touches the horizon line - if you're standing in the right spot on our land. He seems to canvas the area and then always retreats to the area where he begins his circling maneuvers. I now realize that his purpose is to guide particular cats to our farm. The conversation between crow and cat can not be relayed to my readers here in typed words, as the computer wizards have not found a way to make symbols that represent the animal language - and I doubt they are anxiously trying.

So I can only assume what the human translation might be - "You, cat, who just got thrown from the car - over here. Come this way. Up that hill. Watch the curve, log trucks. Inside dogs. Don't be afraid of the small goat like creature - strange but harmless. Head for red barn in the back. Wait for sing song woman sounds. She's the one you want."

And so, this giant, beautiful, regal creature has walked onto the farm. By the way he presented himself to me, I could tell immediately he had at one time worked in the theater, and not on a small scale. He also had been loved, and within literally 2 minutes, he was in my arms. He looked a bit thin yesterday when I fist saw him. But after 3 meals looks better. His wounds are minimal, a few scratches, a small hole that is healing. He is definitely part Siamese, as he cries out as only one of that kind can.

As theatrical and noble as he is, this cat was humbled from whatever journey he had just been on. The back woods is one riveting sound after another in the night time - and the sensitivity of the feline ear, together with his sense of smell, must be exhausting for this fellow, who probably sat on a pillow most of his life earning lines for his next off-off-Broadway play. Normally, when a new cat arrives, I let it be for some time. They come to me on their terms. I feed them, waiting at least two weeks of feeding them before I attempt a tramping to spay/neuter them. As he clung to my shoulders, humming, I swear I heard him thinking,"Go ahead, take my manly pearls off, I don't need them and I'll do anything, anything if you just don't send me back to the outback." His name is not apparant yet, as we humans must wait to allow the cat's true name to come properly to the surface. This can take weeks, sometimes months.

Excited to get to the barn this morning, I was disappointed the new theater cat was not waiting for me in the hay bales. I was sure I had expressed my intentions properly and clearly. As I was almost done cleaning the sheep stall, I heard him calling from the outback. He was standing at the edge, with just two front paws into the small paddock, in the same spot I found him in yesterday. A friend mused he might have been a gift from above - this morning I remembered my father had a Siamese when he met my mother. He had to give the cat away shortly after that.

All I know is, I've known him one day, and he is a significant part of the farm.

I didn't steal him...yet

One of the good things about our farm is that it is 2 miles down the road from another farm where many lovely donkeys live. One of the BAD things about our farm is that it is 2 miles down the road from another farm where many lovely donkeys live.

This young fellow was born to Gabriella and Angelo, parents to my beloved Pino Blangifroti and Lucia. He is as charming as any small ass can be. And at this tender age [4 days] his hair is as soft as a bunny. And he leaps, and jumps, like a bunny. Which makes the entire package very sweet, like a ...bunny.

If you've been visiting here awhile, you might remember my moral crisis when I first met a then baby Lucia. Since that writing, I of course put stealing Lucia aside, and bought her. It was the best thing I ever did with my money, besides bringing the first two donkeys home [even grumpy Paco adds a certain twist to the barnyard that I cherish]. I don't know where this whole donkey life is headed, but I'm holding on and enjoying the ride.

The weather is warming. My focus is scattered, like the seeds I haven't planted yet.
I think the death of a parent takes a lot of creative energy away - or perhaps it's that the death of a parent allows the artist to rest that creative energy for outward purposes, and use the energy to plant new seeds internally in the worn heart. From that will come a summer harvest. I am not a faucet. Nor is it my purpose to create and create only for external showcases.

I will go to the barn now and see if the new beautiful silver tomcat is back - a definite dumped pet, a real beauty, who cried all morning in the woods, and then suddenly rushed to me and let me hold him and carry him back to the barn. He was very hungry. He told me of his journey - it was shocking, he said, to have been left at the road. He didn't understand it.

Yin Yang

"....God is in the roses, and the thorns..."

R.Cash

More wind visits

I just finished this piece "Spring Winds" and am wanting to just sit 'within' the painting. But then again, I already live within this painting. How graced I am for that - even on the rougher days of life. When rough days have so much good, I can't complain.

Available now at the store site.

If look closely, you will see donkey ears. But of course.

The thread of order

One moves to the farm for the first time and makes many mistakes - especially animal lovers like me who have waited years, decades, to get that first farm and fill it up with animals. It is easy to have things grow into complete chaos - even when the new farmers are well intentioned and compassionate people. I've seen it happen, and I've certainly made many errors in judgement, but fortuantely, as I continued to learn, and watch others and learn from their successes and failures, I've managed to maintain a peaceful barnyard, and a healthy one [knock on wood].

I learned the first year that those cute little ram lambs grow into large testicled beings with one job - to breed. If they aren't breeding, it is not wise to have them. We also quickly learned the value of cross-fencing. I think cross pastures have kept our animals healthy and have given me more options on a daily basis for animal management. We are slowly increasing our fenced pastures. It is expensive, and if I had money, I'd do it all at once. But we chip away at it - just this weekend we added another 1/2 acre to the existing area where we put our meat lambs when they've reached that 'I can jump on you missy and make a baby' stage. I know I live on a farm because the one thing I notice most when I drive anywhere out here is...fencing. Good fencing makes me drool with envy. Bad fencing makes me feel like running up to the farm's front door, and say, 'It's ok, I know you're doing your best...want to come over and have some pie?"

I sometimes feel like I am doing everything 'not as good as I should be', - or maybe another way to say it is, I sometimes feel like, "Phew, I did everything well enough today so that no one died, including me." It's a constant learning curve, and a constant shuffling of creatures to keep a nice balance. We had thought about growing our flock up to 50, we have the land, but after getting some lambing seasons under my belt, I feel like the number we have is a good balance for now. And we can't afford the cross fencing right now.The main flock of 10 grows up to 20 with lambing, and then I whittle it down to 10 or so again by fall through sheep sales and butcher dates. Any more sheep and I think I would be doing everyone a disservice - me, my art, the sheep, my husband, and all the other animals I love to spend time with. I know that my mistakes can adversely affect these creatures. Perhaps there is a special place in the after world for farmers to go and meet up with the creatures they have mistakenly damaged, just to apologize again. For when a farmer hurts an animal without intending too, a little needle becomes wedged in his heart - it doesn't feel good.

When I'm in the barnyard, I can breathe in and relax that in that very moment there is a thread of order keeping it from chaos. I've learned many things - like the language of many animals. This picture is a visual representation of how Paco says, "Excuse me, please, could you stop what you are doing immediately and rub that one spot on my rear end that feels so good? I'd really appreciate it."

When roosters come to mind

I sat down to paint. 50% of the time, I don't know what I'll paint. Then as I start, something inside squeaks, urges, cajoles - and out comes...a rooster. A very dignified rooster. With deep meaning of course.

It made me want to paint all the animals in this folk style. Paint, sell it, say good-bye. Paint more, sell it, say good-bye. This piece has asked me if it may stay for awhile, in this home, where it was created. It seems to want to be with me.

I will hang it in the butter yellow kitchen.

Special Visitor from Afar!

We were so thrilled to have an Official Pie Ambassador come meet us - all the way from Mississippi [Pino likes this state because it has a lot of s's and p's]...I confess, she really came to meet Pino, but I wowed her with some of my apple pie. I must say, the crust was especially delicious, mainly because I put in less water and it was like eating butter...I was thrilled when our honorary pie ambassador had a second piece - I feel I can say this, as she often writes about her pie addictions, and well, what's wrong with 2 pieces of pie? Nothin', I say! Life is short, eat pie.

The weather was miserable [and I must say, this picture does not to either of us justice, we are so much prettier in life, right Amy? Right Lucia?].My tea and pie party with Pino had to become an indoor party for our guests. If Martyn hadn't been home, I would have brought Pino in, but, well, I didn't. Our pie guests took a real shining to Lucia, which happens to everyone that meets her. Paco was well behaved, and just a tad grumpy, but he kept an eye on all to make sure no one stole Lucia. He worries about this. In fact, Paco worries about everything, the poor little fellow. We love him so for his worries.

So thank you Amy and Amy's Mom [who came from Texas] for taking time out of your trip to visit us. And they brought us gifts! We love surprises.

For Pino please

Call for Aprons!

I want to hang a bevy of aprons on a clothesline for my June 28th Pino Pie event.

I am asking people to donate an apron for the event. All money from sales goes into Pino's secret bucket for his donkey therapy goals. Special Pino thankyou's will be sent to all who donate.

Do you love to shop/antique?
If you find an apron and would like to donate it, please do. I will acknowledge your donation with a surprise from Pino. Don't break your piggy bank, just buy and donate an apron you find charming - we especially love vintage finds, but let your eyes and heart do the choosing. All are appreciated. Make sure to include a mailing address, and email address when you mail me the apron.

Are you a sewer, of ANY level?
Then we'd be honored to have you donate an apron for our cause. You might want to tell me the suggested retail - and again, you will receive a special thank you from Pino.

Make sure you sew a label of some kind in your apron. We know it takes time and energy to create things, and we will appreciate any efforts, no matter how humble [remember, I sew 'messes'...Include your name, address, email. NOTE: Include a business card or your promo card so I can include it on the "Apron Resource" board that I will have by the apron clothesline.

Aprons due by: June 20th
Mail to: Pino Balngiforti c/o Katherine Dunn, 14710 NW Tupper RD, Yamhill, OR 97148
Questions: email me >

Include in mailing: your address, email. Label your apron if you sew it yourself.

Equine perspective

Somedays you just need to stick a dandelion behind your ear and enjoy the upward view. I'd like to thank my horse for reminding me of this.

Kids, don't try this at home

I've told her a million times, "Frankie, eat the weeds on the inside of the fence..." But nobody around here ever listens to me, except maybe Huck, or Pino. I guess Rosemary the head ewe does.

Anyway, it was one of those days last week when you wonder what's going to happen next. I went out in the early morning to find the front door window on the hen house smashed, with Vivienne outside, happily seeking worms and such. No one was hurt, and I can't really figure out what happened. I think someone got antsy, since the the old fart farmer girl [that would be me] slept in - heaven forbid. Within an hour or so, after I was contently working in the studio, I notice everyone hovering in one spot in the vegetable bed area. Hmmmm, this doesn't feel right. I suspect the masses are up to no good. Out I go only to find Miss Franklinia, aka Frankie, stuck in the pasture fence.

Many owners ago, Frankie's horns were cut off, terrible as it is. They should have been removed properly, but it is too late now. She can do magical things with those cut off horns - she uses them like cherry pickers, swiftly opening any gate that is not tethered properly. Fortunately Frankie is a homebody, and knows the best way to conserve calories is to lay in the sun as much as possible, and then make one mad dash to the hay bales when I open the gates in the morning.

So I arrived to rescue the little queen, and heavens, she was really stuck. "You got in here, we have to be able to get you out...". She patiently waited for my commands, "Frankie, pull..." but she did not budge free. After about 15 minutes, Martyn happened out to the goat-in-a-fence mishap. He pushed from the front, I pulled from the tail...no go. There was no other way, it was time for the wire cutters. Free at last, that little goat ran straight back to the barn, full speed, it was so funny.

Later that day, I returned to do night feedings. But Frankie had a head start on me. Someone with the initials M.D. forgot to secure the hay area. Ah well, have you ever seen a pygmy in action...here's your chance.

Ah...breakfast....

Art makers for life - rejoice!

Dear art makers for life,

I was moved to write this letter to honor all of you who create forever, and don't stop. I was inspired to do this while going through my father's belongings after his death last month. I came upon many photographs, as he was an avid picture taker.
This photo of me made me smile, and it made me see that I am really that same person - I have changed little as far as my essence goes. I can tell exactly what I am thinking and feeling. I know the field I'm standing in, and I know the dog at my feet. The untidy under shirt and baggy pants - not too unlike the outfit you'll find me in now some 50 years later. I hate to admit it, but that little roll in my middle at age 3 that disappeared in my younger beauty days, well, it's back now. So, I am just like her.

I scribbled on paper back then, and painted things. I still do. I haven't given up. I am not a 'dabbler'. It's my biggest asset to myself - "I will always draw or paint something." Like the knowledge one owns the house and has a small nest egg in the bank, I have this thing I do and it brings me...stability. While the financial ups and downs are constant, the art making itself is like an electric cord from the grounded earth to my hands, and the art is like the music that goes back out to the wind. Without the art, I don't think I'd stay tethered too long to any one spot on the ground. I would be alone without it. Completely alone.

My father was an artist. He painted and drew. He was an architect of great success and designed many of the buildings at Mayo Clinic and Notre Dame. He travelled extensively in Europe for his job with 3M and he always had sketches and things around. Our art was very different, he understood perspectives and could draw a room to scale in seconds. I never had a real interest in perspective, but admired his abilities. When I went to help clean out his belongings, my mother casually showed me a small drawing he had done just two days before his death. He was unable to speak much then, and hospice had brought in a hospital bed for him. My mother, who had lived with this person for 53 years and knew him well, gave him a pad of paper to show her how they should situate the hospital bed in the living room. When I saw the little drawing, my heart smashed in pieces, but more out of pride and love, not sadness. It looks like that of the child's hand, abstract. I felt like I had stumbled on a Picasso, and quietly asked if I could have it.

While the drawing was just a sweet story for my mother to tell me, to me it was the culmination of a life. For even in his final days, as he struggled to sketch where his death bed should be placed, drawing was his means to communicate.
I think it is his most humble creation, but his most beautiful.

Like the drawings I was doing at the age the picture was taken here, it is very raw, and it made sense to the maker.

One moment

Listening

I just finished this painting yesterday and am pleased with it. The wind has been so visual and all encompassing in these spring months.On a windy day in early spring, I often have memories of being a young girl, and taking cover in the sumac groves in our back yard. It felt so safe in there, hearing the wind, but being under the leaves. To this day, certain spring smells remind me of those days, and I can vividly remember the jacket I always wore. I remember I loved to put on that spring pullover after a long Minnesota winter.

Now, as an mid life adult, the wind is full of even more intrigue for me. It carries much more meaning, and has so many messages entwined in it's motion. It's been comforting to have lately, it carries love to me from all over. It spreads seeds in the garden that sprout surprises. What are they? I forget, but they grow a little each day.

I'm taking some time today to be outside with Boone. We'll go for a short ride. His mane has such a grand time in the wind. And the tips of my braids will too.

Woman, not chicken

Vivienne's new children's book is out - no, not Vivienne my chicken, Vivienne Flesher the artist and Vivienne the chicken's name sake. Vivienne's newly released book, "Alfred's Nose" has a charming new website. Appropriate because, well, Alfred was charming. I was honored to meet Alfred years ago. He charmed me in many ways - his snorts, grunts, wigglies - but when he put that bat costume on, well, I was really in love. Be sure to roll over the icons for charming Alfred like sounds- why is a fart sound still so darn funny? I love this artist and I hope her book soars.

AND.........

Post script...My other good art compadré, Jenny Kostecki Shaw, just did a post on her NEW children's book . It's a wonderful, true story of Jenny's own travelling eye. These tow artists have encouraged me in my own efforts to get an editor to publish my book. I appreciate them both and admire them to for their published accomplishments. Someday!

The goodness of trees

I'm sure you can't tell from this picture, but Martyn just got done planting 400 trees on our small 1.3 acre parcel of river front.We learned about the CREPS program from farm friends , and signed up last year. Visit this link to see if you have a similar program in your area. There are also other programs you might qualify for.

Planting native trees on the river front will not only help establish the original native habitat, it will improve the long term health of the Yamhill river by providing shade and help erosion on the bank. The river's inhabitants as well as nesting birds will benefit. And we as land locked livers will see the trees and grow and benefit from their beauty.How can you go wrong by planting trees, and getting 75% back in materials and labor from the government. They even give us a small yearly rent for the next 15 years of the contract. It's exciting, and feels nice. I hope to add some birdhouses next year [they also help pay for those].



Trees have always been such important creatures in my daily life. As a loner by nature, I often prefer the company of a tree to that of a person. I need a lot of space to listen to all the things going on in my head, and though I enjoy and appreciate people in my life, trees are such good, impartial listeners, without agendas or baggage. The leaves they drop are not litter, but rather food for worms and dirt. I've never met a tree I didn't like.

More online store news

I've made additions and changes to store print section. I've added some new larger archival prints , incorporating hand written words into the pieces, like these. I've always loved the little girl dreaming of her farm...perhaps you know someone dreaming of a farm that would love this print.I'm a perfect example of dreams coming true, even though it took 4+ decades. I wouldn't have been ready before that, the universe wisely knew. I had other things to experience and do that made me what I am now.

I took off the popular small animal prints that were printed as high end art cards. They were very labor intensive.
I have replaced them with archival 5x7" prints on 8.5 x 11" archival fine art paper.
They can be easily matted and framed.

Make sure you check the nursery section too. I added some popular prints there. I also take requests to print an archival from images you see on my main portfolio site. Most can be made into prints, some can't, so just ask. I do charge additional for the service.

Spring for you

I have added this piece to the store site for sale, along with it's companion piece "Summer". I did these way back when I started out, and had them in my kitchen all these years [in three different houses]. I had so many people over the years want to buy them, but for whatever reasons, wanted to have them for awhile. Funny how that is. I think it's now time for them to move on and add shine to another kitchen. Visit the store site to purchase.

More sun bathers

Sun bather

Pie Bakers!

I just had someone volunteer to make 6 pies for the June 28th Pino Pie Day! Now that is a Pie Ambassador if there ever was one. So start thinking about baking a pie and bringing it too, or volunteering to be a pie server. Visit the Pie Day page to see what's planned so far.

I also stopped at my farm vet today for meds, and got a couple names and ideas about connecting with hospice workers, cancer patients and more.

One step at a time. Pino and I will make a difference to somebody.

On and on

This is Olive Oil, one of Rosie's triplets. She is small, expected from triplets, but I admit to a strong favoritism to her. She is a calm lamb and I do hold her more than the others.She has this odd little impish expression hard to resist. I called her Olive Oil because when she was born she was the thinnest little thing, she was like a board. I have too much on my mind to name lambs right now, so will start thinking. The 4 rams this year are exceptional. Hard choices to come in the months ahead.

The juxtaposition of the spring lambs running around, while we say good bye to my father, is appropriate to relish. One can feel and learn from the cycle of life anywhere, but nowhere have I grasped it more than on the farm living with
more land, and a river ebb and flowing, changing the river banks and uprooting trees.

"She whom we love and lose is no longer where she was before. She is now everywhere." St. John Chrysostom. This is what I am feeling. The things I learned, experienced, valued, received and felt from my father are all here, around me. They don't go away. If one stops at the moment they are thinking of that person, and notices - that bird that just landed, oh there he is. Or the sound of a branch on the roof - there he is again. The language is just different now.

Fatherly winds

I keep a boundary around my personal life on this blog, but I felt I needed to write something about my father's death. It is just the strangest sensation, on the day you get the word. Many know what I mean, others will someday. You can't practice for it, as one person said. Thank you for the many kind thoughts already.


In the predawn morning when my father died, it was not raining but the branch of the Doug Fir outside the bedroom window was blowing. I ate yogurt for breakfast just like the day before when he was still alive.

On the morning my father died, I went to the barn like I always do, first stopping to let the chickens out for their daily free range. I fed Boone and brushed him, taking time to rub his underbelly since he's shedding and he likes it. I watchede the mother ewes and looked over the new lambs while they ate.

"I must name them soon," I think to myself.

For that one moment I forgot what day it was.

I drive to the feed store for supplies. It began to rain at 2:01pm Oregon time. Everything becomes significant on the day your father dies. I see old men everywhere, with canes. One is buying birdseed. Old men are like old trees - they die one limb at a time. I had that thought in my head for a year now, wanting to paint it, but never did.

My father was not a religous man, nor am I preferring to look to Nature and Higher Power as one huge university with health and wellness seminars.I'm a leaf, only with a different anatomy and make-up, and will someday crumble to the worms.

Picking up the phone that morning, I heard the voice say,

"It's happened."

Not, "He's dead," but, "It's happened."

"It". That's a huge "it".

Later in the morning, I asked out loud,

"Where are you? What are you doing right now?"

My crumbling leaf analogy didn't really help as I ran into the impact of this day. Please, do not write and tell me you know where he is. It's really his business now. It would be nice if someone told me, "He felt the need to get away and went on a road trip east." If he had just gone on a road trip, I wouldn't need to know what states he went to, I could fathom he was still on earth, grounded by body. Wearing clothes. Dog at his side. Camera in the back seat. But just a crumbled leaf with the worms, I just could grasp it - on the day he died.

I noticed how sensitive I was to the wind that day. I think there might be this one terrifying moment before death, where I'll struggle to stay on Earth, "Please, I can't leave you behind, Wind!"

All day long, movies played in my mind - of former holidays as a family, pleasant lunches, little moments that are stuffed over a lifetime in a memory book, old houses we remodeled, that night we drank 100 year old Armanac in Zurich as father and daughter and smoked cigars. You remember the oddest things too, like standing in line at the old Mann Theater in St. Paul when I was about 7 waiting to see "Sound of Music". And the night he came into my room and made me a deal when I was 8 years old - instead of me buying tickets to the Monkee's concert, which he would have to chaperone me on, he offered to buy me all three of their albums. I pondered, and recognized the albums would last longer than a concert and agreed. I now smile at his probable relief.

On the day my father died, he was 84 years old and safe in his home with his wife of 53 years and his little dog nearby. He was surrounded by items he could still recognize as important to him. And I was on my farm, sleeping next to my husband, surrounded by fields and animals and things important to me - ike the worms and the wind.

Creatures helping Amelia

NOTE: The Paypal button I originally had below isn't working. So email me and I will send an electronic invoice for now until I figure it out. Wow! I knew you'd love them. Only one donkey left! Now, what about those sweet sheep? Sheep are $18.50 each [includes s/h]

I recently met Deborah Holmes who lives about an hour from me. She has chickens and some goats and has a love of donkeys. In fact, she might own a donkey someday. Deborah knows how to work with felt, one of my favorite things, and she made some mini felt creatures and showed them to me. I was in love and immediately encouraged her to make more! Aren't they so wonderful?

Deborah is raising funds for a friend who needs a transplant. All the money from selling these little creatures will go directly to the National Transplant Assistance fund to help Deborah's friend, Amelia. She captured the spirit of a donkey so well. She also did some sweet little sheep. They are $25-$28.50, includes USA s/h.

And next month, Deborah is going to come teach me how to make these! Can you imagine what will happen when I know how to make felt creatures? A barnyard will form over time....And I thought they might be fun to make for care packages from Pino to elderly or cancer wards. Scroll down to see Paypal button, and select your item.

Power of two

I did this rather odd piece for my portfolio this week. I had intended to do a man and woman, but ended up being 'urged" to make it sisters. The cat that was in one lap soon seemed to evolve into a piglet. I realized I was painting two sisters I know, farm girls. I embellished the story a bit, as I know they don't drink, but it seemed so juicy to think of two hardworking [which they are] farm girls who spend their days flipping goats to trim their feet - and then rest in dresses, barefoot, with a strong martini...surrounded by family portraits - of their best stock. In memory of Sharon - Hey, I hardly knew you, but I can't stop thinking of you - twenty seems too young to go. I will miss your chicken stories and red braids. Catch a rooster,wherever you are.

Raffle extended to Wednesday!

Due to a broken link on the side bar, the raffle is extended through Wednesday, March 19. The link now works, but if you still have trouble, go the store site/Donkey Art section >, scroll to the last image of the donkey.

New Pie Ambassador...

I received a nice email from a new Pino supporter.

"... I’m going to bake an apple pie today while your beautiful painting of Pino is fresh in my mind. I think I’ll share it with Mr. and Mrs. Tudor across the street. They are nearing their 90’s and still living independently. You’ve got to love that."

One more baked pie, one more elderly couple getting pie love...Thank you, Kathy B.! You are now an official Pino Pie Ambassador...

Old Friends...

I've added some old friends to the store site for sale, including this one. This is one of the pieces from my very first gallery show back in 2001 and it was an honorable mention in the Sioux City Museum show. Sometimes I hang onto to pieces without intending too, they become guides of some sort for me, but at a certain point, I let them go. I had a tree in Minneapolis that was such a companion for me at the time, such an essence of stability when I wasn't feeling so stable. I have new tree friends now, and this painting might help another as a companion.

I also have brought back most of my originals from out of state galleries and have added some to the store in the Canvas and Original section. I'll have more coming from another gallery in a month.

Growing

Planting season is upon us. I've had my Donkey-Sheep-Clearing Crew taking out the weeds and winter growth of the vegetable area. I let the young lambs and ewes into the garden for about 4 weeks, just enough time for the babies to grow enough to be in the bigger field, and enough time for the ewes to eat the weeds. Then at night, I allow the donkeys free access too, and they roll in the dirt. By the time I till the bed, my job is much easier. I just love that, all of us working toward a goal of making food, or assisting in some way.

Growing your own food is so rewarding. I really love that we have that ability. The more we put our own food on the table, or the food of farmers we get to know, the more sensitive we become to what we see in the stores. One does not need to eat food from overseas - not as a staple. I am all for buying from all countries for variety, but I like the Alice Waters mind set - eat what is in season. The anticipation of our own tomatoes again....

I am happy more schools and communities are working to teach children and teens about growing food. It is so fun, and the results are so tangible. It is the best way to let kids see a connection with the earth/food/farmer/store/stomach. We don't all have to be farmers, but if everyone tried to grow something even in a kitchen garden, it seems one could start making connections with what they are actually putting in their mouth from the stores.

I noticed the local store chain here, finally starting to sell locally grown potatoes. And elephant garlic. Finally. What the customers demand, the mangers will eventually sell. Speak up. One food item at a time. I can't change the world. But I can applaud my store for buying local elephant garlic. It's a start.

How to celebrate your 50th

"She never wanted diamonds or pearls, she always said "Honey,
they're too much money""...

Last nite, Martyn felt rather badly, as he had not made a concrete plan for my 50th today. I had no problem with this, as I have always been a self entertaining unit from a young age, and I had made some birthday plans for today - a donkey walk with my friend where we would meet a mile from here, she with her donkey, and I with my donkey. On the way, we would pick up litter. We had dubbed this the Lucia Litter Patrol, and I made buttons. We hope to do this a few times a year. Picking up litter with a donkey is a slow process, but it was a nice day, and my day got even brighter when I arrived at our meeting point to see Angelo [father to Pino and Lucia] adorned in fresh daffodils. Now tell me, what could have made my birthday better?

I arrived home to find a package from a friend - fresh brownies and a bee house, complete with live, newly hatched bees. I baked a white cake with chocolate frosting later in the day, and had many nice calls and notes.

Last nite, Martyn suggested a spontaneous dinner out to celebrate early. But it was already late in the day, and I said, "What would really be fun is to build a bonfire and grill hot dogs." Within an hour, my gallant king had whipped up a new firepit, carried a table and chairs, candles and blankets to the area. Some fancy pants people would not consider drinking good red wine with hot dogs, but for me, a hot dog is such a decadent splurge. We eat really healthy, but I love hot dogs, as disgusting as they are. Combined with wine, ah, I was in heaven. As the nite grew dark, and the fire lit the scene, the donkeys appeared in the orchard behind us. The glow of the fire lit up their faces and 3 pairs of ears. I was so happy.

RAFFLE! Help Pino, win art!

OK, it's time for another art raffle. The proceeds of this are going into the Pino Pie fund. Here is the direct link to the raffle.

I need to start raising money for upcoming events - I plan to have at least 2 private or semi-private Pino Pie days for people/children that are healing or fighting life threatening illness [I have one hospital contact, but am still working out details with them ]. I am also going to contact hospice workers. I just feel if I can get one or two of these under my belt, the reputation will grow, and I'll have pictures and references of real people.

So, help me and Pino out.

Animals bring joy and soothing to those fighting cancer and other debilitating illness. Grooming, petting and hugging a donkey is soothing and brings great joy - I know, I witness it in myself and others. An afternoon with Pino and some home made pie, in the sun, farm smells all around, it will soothe, and help in a small way. And if you know children/elderly or adults who will benefit from a Pino Pie Day, please let me know so I can contact them.

Visit this link to participate. Entries are in multiples of $15, no maximum. If you submit one $15 payment, your name is put on a piece of paper and in the hat once, 2 x $15 gets your name in 2 times, and so on. As usual, Pino will be helping with the actual name pulling.

The winner will receive this 13 x 19" archival print, valued at $155.50, signed by yours truly. These are not available anywhere but on my store.

I'll accept payments through 3/17/08. Good luck, and thank you so much for entering.

RAFFLE!

OK, it's time for another art raffle. The proceeds of this are going into the Pino Pie fund. Here is the direct link to the raffle.

I need to start raising money for upcoming events - I plan to have at least 2 private or semi-private Pino Pie days for people/children that are healing or fighting life threatening illness [I have one hospital contact, but am still working out
details with them ]. I am also going to contact hospice workers. I just feel if I can get one or two of these under my belt, the reputation will grow, and I'll have pictures and references of real people.

So, help me and Pino out. Spread love with pie and one little donkey.

Animals bring joy and soothing to those fighting cancer and other debilitating illness. Grooming, petting and hugging a donkey is soothing and brings great joy - I know, I witness it in myself and others. An afternoon with Pino and some home made pie, in the sun, farm smells all around, it will soothe, and help in a small way. And if you know children/elderly or adults who will benefit from a Pino Pie Day, please let me know so I can contact them.

Visit this link to participate. Entries are in multiples of $15, no maximum. If you submit one $15 payment, your name is put on a piece of paper and in the hat once, 2 x $15 gets your name in 2 times, and so on. As usual, Pino will be helping with the actual name pulling.



The winner will receive this 13 x 19" archival print, valued at $155.50, signed by yours truly. These are not available anywhere but on my store.

I'll accept payments through 3/17/08. Good luck, and thank you so much for entering.

Walkin'

Time to recharge after 20 days of sickness - what better way than to take some time for a walk with a friend. The weather today is around 60, sun. My body needs it. I haven't had time or energy to spend much quality time with myself, let alone the animals, or my husband. I'm feeling good though, just still a bit 'quite', but the worst is over. I did manage to crack a rib or two from coughing so hard. Good grief.

We await the final ewe to lamb. She is so sick of me lifting her tail and checking the hardness of her udder, that she sighs when I appear in the morning - "Are your hands warm?" she asks with her eyes...

We lost one of my favorite bantie hens, Zuchhi, on Sunday. I don't know why. I found her dead by the barn in the late afternoon. No signs of distress, wounds, puncture marks or bugs. She had appeared normal all week, and was laying. She was a comical frizzle, with a unique personality. I held her in the barn - surrounded by the newly loaded 2 tons of hay - and cried and cried. The crying made me cough, and together the coughing and crying disturbed Pino Blangiforti. He arrived at my side, and stood quitely with me. I was crying for that darn little chicken, but also for my father.